


Unwilling Apprentice

by A_wild_reylo_appears



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Dark Rey, Dominant Kylo Ren, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Forced Bonding, Hux is Not Nice, Kidnapping, Manipulative Relationship, Mind Manipulation, Ninja edits, Obsession, POV Rey (Star Wars), Stockholm Syndrome, Tags Are Hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-16
Updated: 2017-06-15
Packaged: 2018-09-24 20:19:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 28,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9784724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_wild_reylo_appears/pseuds/A_wild_reylo_appears
Summary: Time has passed since Starkiller base. Rey has been turned away by Luke Skywalker. After leaving the Resistance, both to protect them and to hide from the growing connection between her and Kylo Ren. She has been captured. Will she be able to resist the temptation of the Dark side? Or will Kylo Ren be able to change her perspective?





	1. Chapter 1

It had been a little more than six months since she had last seen him. However, she still could feelhim through the Force despite the distance. His anger and loathing covered her like a film, her Light still came through but altered.

She bites her cheek at the thought of how ruined she is because of him.

Suddenly, for the tiniest fraction of a second, her barrier is pierced. He is close. She stands and quickly begins pressing controls. She is close enough to the planet's moon she could hide. She works on dampening her Force signature as best she can while discreetly attempting to sense him.

She sets the controls to orbit the dark side of the closest moon. Emergency lights shade her face red. The ship is in quiet mode. Now she just has to hope he didn't catch a hint of her. If he thought for a moment she might be nearby…

She had to leave the Resistance after the second time he came and annihilated the base.

Sometimes she saw him in dreams. Dreams of ice, dreams of doubt and fear. He would try to speak but she always ran.

Sometimes she thought she heard his voice speaking to her. He would whisper how he would find her. How she would understand if he could teach her. 

She was better off fleeing from Kylo Ren and distracting him. At least, that is what she would tell herself before she slept.

But lately, the dreams had taken a turn. It was like warmth and fragments of pleasure. She would wake up, her breath heavy and her body sensitive. She didn't remember anything of these dreams and that was almost worse.

Hiding in the shadows, she could suddenly feel him. His command ship must have been nearby. She tried emptying her mind of everything. Rey could feel the cacophony of emotions pressing intently against her fragile shields. She could feel him pulling on her mind.

Rey realizes then that he must have been coming for her and hiding wouldn't fool him. She turns on everything and fires up the ship to make a jump.

Rey hears a loud clang. The lights flicker and shut off. Rey reaches for her blaster as an alarm begins to blare. Blaster in hand she gets ready to shoot before she felt a dark presence weigh down her mind. She struggles against it before succumbing to darkness.

****

She gasps awake and not only is she hanging from her wrists, but they are Force shackles. She isn't completely cut off from the Force but there would be no fooling a stormtrooper this time. 

She could still feel Kylo more strongly than ever even with her ability dampened. She realized that more importantly he felt her awaken and he was coming. She felt fear echo through her body with every heartbeat. He felt different now that he was so close. There was a stillness to him like a sandstorm caged within a glass. His power felt different. More deep and dark. What glimmer of light that may have existed had long since perished.

The door creaks open and a sliver of light comes in through the door. His frame darkens the doorway.

He seemed broader. He managed to build up more muscle. She can feel his mind slide against hers. It feels cool and deep like the dark water Finn had told her not to swim in on D’Qar. She recoils from his mental touch.

He seems confident as he prowls toward her. He wears his outfit like a mantle. His mask no longer hides him from the world but hides the world from _him._ She could feel his hungry eyes on her. She pulls all her strength and determination together even as she feels her body tremble.

“What do you want?” she asks angrily. 

He seemed to stare at her from behind his mask. His mind felt like ice that burned now.

Slowly he reaches up and removes his mask. He drops it down in front of her and stares at her with dark eyes that hold the fires of madness.

Unsettled by how changed he seems, she looks down to break eye contact. He closes the distance between the two of them. Kylo reaches out his gloved hand to her face and firmly cups it. He closes his eyes as she suddenly feels herself launched into her memories.

Flashes of the past barrage her mind. Memories she would rather remain hidden. The memory of Luke Skywalker, his face ravaged by time and regret turning her away. He refused her without explanation. It makes her heart constrict all over again in despair. Always a scavenger. Never enough. Not even for her family. No one ever wanted her. No one could. Even if someone did want her, it was too much trouble.

Ķylo raises his other hand to her face and presses his forehead against hers.

*He was foolish. Let me teach you. I can help you bring back your memories.*

Rey felt anger flood through her. If he thought that promising her to find her family would make her capitulate, he didn't know how wrong he was.

*I need you, Rey.*

Rey jerked her face back from him as the emotion rolled through her like a wave. She didn’t sense anger but loneliness, desire, and it was almost intangible this feeling between them. Mentally she reached out and pulled on the connection. She felt suddenly intoxicated with his need. Heat and power curled lazily between them and he was already so impossibly close. His body, his touch was foreign but she felt almost a desperation to feel it again, without the gloves.

*NO.* she thought loudly, the sheer power of his mind weighing down on her until it felt almost hard to breathe.

He eased up and pulled back, tilting her chin up to look in her eyes.

“You will understand. Why cling to those who only use you when convenient? Together we will become more powerful than anyone in the galaxy.”

Rey stares at him. His insanity now clear.

“I won't go to the Dark side.” Rey said with a quiet conviction.

She feels his rage at her refusal shoot through like a thunderbolt. He is not crippled by his rage anymore instead it condenses around that deathly stillness. She now realizes it is predatory. His gloved fingertips pressed almost too firmly against her skull.

He releases her and backs away from her. He turns to the door and with his back to her, stops.

*I have _seen_ it. You will become my apprentice. Together we will murder Snoke.*

The door shuts behind him and Rey is determined he will be wrong. She would be strong.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren has captured Rey.

Kylo only left Rey hanging like that for less than a day. Excruciating as it was on her arms, she doubted that she would be left alone long. When he came in, he roughly untied the chain from her shackles. He pulled on her arm but she hissed through her teeth and crumpled to the floor. Maybe she is more hurt than she thought.

“Scavenger.” his voice modulated through the mask manages to convey a threat with one word.

She feels tears in her eyes at the pain, humiliation, and helplessness. Her emotions seem to be welling up within her chest. Just one more person who would think she was worth something only to eventually abandon her again. She turned her face from him, realizing he must feel her emotions and hear her thoughts. She feels a sob almost crawl out of her throat as she clamps down on her feelings and pushes them down. The pain is still there but it doesn’t feel so overwhelming, she can almost breath.

Kylo takes off his mask and goes down to his knees before her fallen form. He grasps her and pulls her up towards him. The sheen of tears almost gone from her eyes.

“All the power in the world and you bury it.” His eyes are solemn and Rey stares into them. It is like she could see hallways in his mind. The echoes of screams are in his eyes. Along with death. The intensity of his stare, it is like he could see all she was and ever could be. His touch on her chin feels hot despite the gloves and she jerks away from him.

“What good am I if Luke wouldn’t teach me?” Kylo can feel her pain pulsate like magma just beneath the surface with her words.

His hand drifts down to her throat. He holds it firmly.

“He feared your power. Your Light is so strong…” He leans in close and whispers into her ear.

“The shadow made by that Light with all your loneliness and pain…"

Rey swallows. This feels both so right and so wrong…

She could feel his lips graze against her ear, “Learn from me. I will not force the Dark side upon you.” He pauses before saying, “I won’t have to.” He kisses her ear before reaching down and picking her up. Rey couldn’t move, she was limp in his arms just like on Takodana.

Except, she was awake and her cheek rested against his chest as he carried her through the ship. No one seemed to notice their presence as they made their way through the ship. The doors open and shut behind him as he carries her into the dark room. They enter another room and the light comes on automatically. It is the bathroom. He sits her on the counter, taking off her cuffs before he begins pulling off her clothes.

Suddenly Rey feels life come back into her limbs as she tries to kick and hit him.

Kylo grips both her wrists up against a mirror and catches her leg in between his own. She struggles until she feels his mind bear down on hers. It was an overwhelming pressure that eventually wins out against her stubborn desire to escape. He soothes her mind and she slowly forgets why it matters that she stay angry at him. Why she desperately needs to escape.

Kylo looks at Rey, the pleasantly vacant look on her face. He leans forward and kisses her. Rey feels warmth travel down through her body as it reacts to the stimulus. He kisses her and even through the haze Rey feels shock but also deep down throbbing, needing _something_.

After a few moments Kylo pulls back, *There is more than one way I can make use of you if you refuse to learn when the time comes.* The words ricochet in her mind and she is limp once again in his Force hold.

His hands slide down her sides before pulling off her shirt, her arm bindings, her pants, until she is finally naked. He steps back before slowly shedding his own attire.

His flesh is pale but marked like the landscape of an ancient war. Scars old and new decorate his body seeming almost as numerous as the stars. She took particular note of the one on his face. The one that she had given him.

He smirks at the attention she pays him and specifically where her gaze seemed to avoid. He picks her up again and carries her to the shower. When he puts her down, he holds her against his body as he slides her down to stand against him. He turns on the water and it is warm. She shivers as she feels his body reach around her for gel from one of the spouts on the wall. He works the gel into her hair.

For the first time, it seems like Kylo is almost at peace. A hum of contentment running between them. Never in her life has she been so bare to someone or touched so intimately. Like her body belonged to him.

He gets more of a different gel and begins working it into her body. His hands and bubbles seem to be everywhere, her body singing as her mind desperately tries to pretend this isn’t real. It is a war of denial inside her mind. She feels her emotions burning beneath the false calm Kylo had given her. There is a deep rift of rage but in her soul it feels like the lassitude of the moment is real. 

There are places he touches, that she never touches. It makes her feel that desperation again. She feels a need for him, she wants to crawl into his skin. Soap slides off her body as he scrubs her hair clean. He reaches up and combs in something that made her hair feel soft.

He turns her around toward him and pushes her backwards into the water. She is clean and yet somehow she had never felt so filthy.

He reaches up, putting the soap in her hands. Rey looks at him still slightly passive but more able to resist.

“My turn.” He saids it simply like this was something normal. Like she would choose to touch him. He moves her hands to his chest. His eyes hold something far beyond want and need. She withdraws her hands and hastily gets out of the shower.

She feels disoriented but she knew that this was something she wouldn’t do.

“Are my scars so hideous?” Kylo asks mildly before turning away from her. Stepping in the the stream to take his shower, alone. The parting comment wounding something inside Rey.

She steps back. No. She would not feel pity for this… man. She turns and takes a large black towel before exiting into the bedroom. She runs over to the dresser to dig for pants and a shirt. She finds them and they are in her size. Alarm blazes through her body even more sharply as adrenaline begins sending chills down her spine.

She struggles to put dark clothes over her damp skin. She examines the door only to see Kylo calmly leaning again the bathroom doorway watching her futile movements with mild amusement. The towel is wrapped low around his middle. He is still wet and dripping. He exudes confidence and the press of his power is overwhelming.

“It’s biometric, no other panel or way to bypass it to open it. You will remain here during your training,” he paused before saying, “my apprentice.”

Her stomach drops at his words, turning and curdling. She looks around the room noting a few holos, the dresser, a nightstand, and one large bed. She looks back at him and takes another step back before running to the door to see the truth for herself.

He comes up behind her and wraps his arms around her, holding her against him. “Behave and you will be rewarded.” He sounded like some strange mix of possessive, angry, and insane. He is insane. He pauses to release her and she looks up expecting the volatile madness swarming in his eyes. But all she sees is a dark, cold stillness. She feels locked onto his eyes and she feels the threat of what would happen if she disobeyed radiating off him. He would hurt her, of course. But she knew he would go after her friends, he would set all his power to taming her be it through sheer will or murdering anyone and everyone until he was all that was left.

“I can’t.” She hears the sorrow in her voice. How desperately she has always wanted someone who needs her but this…

She feels the change in the air. He is done negotiating.

She cringes awaiting whatever is to come next but all she hears is footsteps and the door shutting.

She is alone.


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Strengthen the bond.

Rey stepped back from the doorway slowly, staring at it. This must be some sort of trick or test to leave her in here. Her body felt like millions of beetles were crawling all over her. Anxiety suddenly paralyzed her for a moment as she breathed in and out softly.

She waits for him to return. He left only in a towel. Was he trying to protect her from his anger? Time stretches and she realizes she has no idea when it was. How long was she knocked out for when he took her?

She decides after a long while he didn’t seem to be coming back. She begins looking over everything. Trying to figure out something. Maybe she could make some tool or weapon? But every item in the room is carefully selected into solid heavy forms she couldn’t lift. There is nothing small she can use.

She finds two closets both filled with what are obviously Kylo Ren’s clothes. She feels heat flush her face thinking about the way he touched her. She was furious but also kept remembering the kiss over and over. She kept obsessing about how it felt when he touched her. She pushes all the thoughts away and tries to focus on a strategy.

She could pretend? Until she found a way to escape. Or she could refuse everything. Which she had tried, but so far had not been the winning strategy. She kind of doubted she could fool him though.

Eventually she found herself going to sleep on the bed. It was too soft for her taste but she could sleep anywhere. Rey slept with the lights on since there was no panel she could control in the room.

*****

She had slept three times since he had left her there. There must be a camera somewhere because a tray of food will arrive after she wakes up and goes into the bathroom. Little trays of fruit, meat, and cheese. She eats the food, unconcerned with poison as her captor would much rather relish his control over her death. She isn’t in a position to stop him so she must try to figure out a way to survive.

She intends to delay as long as possible. Surely his impatience would eventually get to him. Or his master’s impatience.

He _had_ mentioned killing Snoke.

She found it hard to believe that he would betray his master. Except, he had done it before.

She heard the door open and she jumped off the bed. She wanted to be ready to fight him.

The door shut behind him and he stood facing her for a long moment. For so many days, all she had felt was silence. Now she could feel his volatile emotions boiling within him. Finally she realized what that cold, dead still part that watched her with reptilian eyes was made from. That was that part of him that killed Han Solo. That part of him is dark and hungry with pain. Rey snapped her head away from Kylo, realizing she was opening herself up to him by looking.

“You do seem to know some things that you have picked up just from contact with me.” Kylo started walking closer to her and she felt herself locked in place. Not from the Force though.

He towered over her, invading her space as she had to almost crane her neck to look up at his face. He stood but a breath away from her and she felt a shiver run through her body.

“Have you considered my offer?” He said it very mildly but she could feel the energy of his curiosity. He obviously had already decided this was happening but wants her to agree to this.

She tries to take a step to the side. He is too close to her she thinks as his hand stops her.

“No one knows you are here.” She feels herself staring at him. What does he want from her?

“I want you to learn and use the power you were meant to yield.”

*I know you feel this too. This bond between us is why my uncle wouldn’t teach you.*

Rey stares at him suddenly enraged with him. This was all his fault! If he had just left her alone…

*Rey.* Her name reverberated in her mind and it was suddenly like the connection, the bond was getting wider and pulling her closer.

She felt herself falling into his mind. Flashes of memory until she saw a young her from before Jakku.

Rey falls into the scene and realizes she is seeing this from Kylo’s perspective.

He is sitting in the corner of the room, but his eyes are locked on the young Rey. The younger version of herself looks up and runs over to the boy. At her touch, Rey can feel what Kylo felt all those years ago. Like everything in the universe had been scattered until Rey had realigned everything so that it was crystal clear. She belonged to him.

Rey snapped back out of this memory and almost fell back on the bed when she came out of it. She pushed Kylo away and darted to the other side of the room.

She flinches at the sound of his laugh. She could still feel him roaming through the cracks of her mind. She tried to push him out but this time it was like she couldn’t touch him. Then she realized she was in his mind as well. The connection was like how it was two years ago.

She felt his grip tighten on her Light like she was a small, fragile bird. Her body shivered and twitched under his hold. He pushed her back against a wall. She turned her face away from him as she felt his mind become fully entrenched in hers. Until she learned to properly shield, he would know her every passing thought.

She felt a wave of shame overcome her as she realized he would know all the times when she looked at him, or thought about him…

Kylo cupped her face and smiled at her before kissing her. Rey felt paralyzed by the sensations before weakly attempting to push Kylo away.

He pulled back and ghosted his hands down her arms, just barely grazing her. She looked him in the eyes and she felt him push her mind asleep.


	4. Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sweet dreams are made of these...

Rey startled awake and would have fallen onto the floor but she found she was shackled to the bed.

She wanted to scream with frustration. Rey had to learn to resist his mental control. She twisted around and laid on her back trying to get comfortable.

It suddenly dawned on her that what if she had to go to the bathroom? He wasn't even in here.

Maybe she could antagonize him a little. She had no illusions that it might in anyway help her predicament.

Not like she could practice when he attacked her. Maybe she could spy on him. That was practicing she told herself.

Rey closed her eyes and concentrated on the feeling of Kylo Ren and the bond. She realized suddenly that she could sense him and he wasn't too far away. 

He was sleeping. His emotions seemed so much calmer and less threatening… or at least it was quieter. Rey felt herself graze against the edges of Kylo's dreams, only to get sucked into them.

*****

Rey was shocked by how cold it was and when she opened her eyes she could feel all the warmth draining away. Only snow and fear was left, this was Starkiller base.

On the ground she found the discarded lightsaber that she had returned. Picking it up, she tucked it into her clothing. She looked around quickly, listening intently for that distinctive crackling.

She heard it ignite behind her. Turning, she blocked his blade. A snap like lightning rips through the air which smelled of ice and ozone.

“It's actually you,” His tone was shocked. He apparently had not expected her to wander into his dreams.

“I've been in your dreams before haven't I?” She had a hazy recollection of running many times from him here.

“No, I have walked in yours but you refused to speak.”

The scenery changes and it is Takodana. The lush green takes Rey’s breath away. They are back where Rey was captured the first time. She steps up to Kylo.

“Why did I meet you as a child? Who was I with?” Rey demanded of him.

He turned from her and she caught his wrist.

“Are you going to just knock me out whenever I ask questions?” Rey asked.

“They were traders. They had heard stories and you…” He trailed off before doing something she hadn't seen yet. Smiling.

“You think I will just tell you? Or maybe someday I will see the Light and have a change of heart?”

He turns back to her. The forest seems darker as he pulls her into his chest.

“You want to know? You will have to take it from my mind.” He pulls her tighter against him.  

Rey looks up at him. Would it be so bad? To just try? She wanted to know.

“Teach me.” Rey said quietly.

“What?” Kylo seemed surprised at her words. Words he was prepared to wait months to hear.

“You won't let me leave and you won't tell me anything. Yet, you said you want to kill Snoke. What is the truth?” Rey had to know if she did this… there had to be rules. She at least realized she needed to learn enough from him so he couldn't find her when she escaped. Even if it was him, finally someone with answers.

Kylo smiled at her again. It seemed less forced this time.

“I will teach you the truth that the Jedi never could.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to do a dream bit ;) 
> 
> I always want to draw out Rey’s torture but honestly I feel like she is practical. I doubt she would resist to the death. 
> 
> Also majority of this is being written on my phone so I will just beg forgiveness for my sins.


	5. Five

Rey walked into the room. It was a large training area for it to be personal but having seen Kylo in action… this is probably very small.

Following him into the middle of the room she wondered what the training would be like. Leia had only told Rey about how Luke had to give his master a piggyback ride while training. That anger and fear led to the Dark side.

As Kylo turned around toward her, she decided that piggybacks were not happening.

"With the Force size is irrelevant.” Kylo answering her silent musings.

“Hey! Can you not do that! Just pretend you don't hear me or something?” Rey started out yelling but with the darkening of his mood it turned more into a plea.

“You think this agreement means you get to dictate?” Kylo began to circle her as she tracked him with her eyes.

“You're here because I need you and you need me as much as you deny it.” He reaches forward and touches her arm. His touch sends shocks of fire and ice through her.

“Even if we are apart too long physically... You must have noticed it before I came for you.”

Rey steps back from him. “What are you talking about?”

“It is like a buzzing at the back of your head or thorn in your shirt but you can't feel it or see it.” Kylo appeared frustrated to describe it but she was sure that that wasn't all.

All those headaches and all those times when she kept looking for something. Like there was a piece of her missing but everything was where it should be. It was the worst after blocking out Kylo. It was worse than Jakku. The loneliness, the anger, the fear when she had no reason to feel those things.

Kylo nods at her and steps in to close the distance she has put between them. Rey moves step back as he grabs her hands.

She wishes he would go back to wearing the mask, it made him so much easier to hate.

“Skywalker knew we were bonded. Suspected it when it happened. He told me nothing and refused to train you then.”

Rey tried to pull her hands back but he held on. “He erased your memory and left you on Jakku which blocked the bond. I thought you had died.” His voice is ardent, desperate to make her believe.

“You're lying why would he do that?” Rey demanded.

“I don't know. He never told me. He swept it under the rug and it was that way until I left.”

Rey tried unsuccessfully to pull away her hands. “You mean when you killed all the padawans?”

“Such lies they have told you. Those padawans never died, they came with me. Well, some died but they refused to listen. The survivors are the Knights of Ren.”

Rey pulls her hands out from his this time. She turns away from him.

“When did you know?” Rey kept her back to him.

“When we fought. Once you broke through the barriers that kept you from using the Force and called the lightsaber to you. I wasn't sure until then."

Rey turns and glares at him from the side. “And why should I believe a word you say?”

Kylo seemed to still at the venom in her voice before replying, “I will never lie to you and once you learn how to use the bond properly, I couldn't lie.”

Rey silently nods at his assertion. A couple tears fled her eyes before she wiped them away.

“So teach me how to use this bond then. I want the truth.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey has agreed to learn.

They were sitting in the middle of the room. He was attempting to teach her how to meditate. So far it was less than successful.

"Look I am use to pushing down all my emotions. Not to mention I don't want to focus on my anger or hatred. I was pretty clear about not turning Dark."

Kylo sat across from her with his legs crossed. He breaths were deep and calm. He looked peaceful aside from the little wrinkle between his eyebrows. Oh, also the murderous rage that he seemed to be exuding.

*Sit and clear your mind of thoughts.* Kylo's voice instructed in her mind.

Rey sighed and tried to stay still. She wasn't use to sitting and just being. Every moment taken up with trying to survive. Even after leaving Jakku she still can't help but try to plan for how to survive, even when she was safe. Relatively.

He sighed. "This is the most basic method of training and you can't manage it. Force manipulation, lightsaber combat, and persuasion. I've seen you do advanced abilities the many Force users struggle with but the easiest one you wrestle with."

Rey felt her face flush with anger. "Well, maybe we shouldn't meditate." 

Kylo almost chuckled, "That isn't how it is done. Meditation is what we use to know the Force and to be able to become one with it. It is the only real way to gain control over your abilities. It is the main way one can increase power. Probably the only thing Skywalker was right about."

Rey frowned, "No, I mean maybe we should spar first. Assuming we will spar. If I could just burn off some energy?"

Kylo opened his eyes and regarded her. "You think I would give you a weapon?" His voice was like a warning, that she promptly chose to ignore.

Rey raised her eyebrow at the statement, "You don't think you could stop me?"

Kylo began to get up, "Not without injuring you. I tend to be literal with the disarming."

"You don't have anything for training?" Judging by how there were still walls in the room she assumed that there had to be.

Kylo went to a wall and touched it to open a panel. He took out two hilts hanging inside. Igniting one lightsaber, a white beam came out. 

"Training sabers aren't common. This will still burn you but it won't cut. I acquired these shortly after we fought on Starkiller base."

Rey got up and walked over to look at the lightsaber closer. She didn't ask how he acquired them.

"I took them from an old Jedi Temple." Kylo answered.

"Not a Sith temple?" Rey asked, trying to bite back the fury that pulsed within her. She had to stop him from reading her mind and picking up on his thoughts.

"Sith trained with real lightsabers. You were encouraged to kill your opponents. They didn't need to protect their initiates because that was part of the training to survive." 

Rey understood from his tone that he felt he was being extremely generous. 

Rey took the other lightsaber from his hand and ignited it. Rey gave it an experimental slash before looking back at Kylo. Would they spar now?

Kylo turned to her and seemed to step into a stance to prepare for combat. His lightsaber in front of him as she stepped back, mirroring his pose. Rey felt approval come through the bond. She felt the bond slowly shrink until she could barely sense Kylo. She felt anger flood her. All this time she has had to put up with this bond and he could have turned it down!

Rey rushed him hacking at him as he deftly evaded. Kylo parried and moved like it was a dance even though she could feel the sweat dripping off her. He looked like he felt no exertion and he deflected her strikes with ease.

It had been Starkiller base when she last used a lightsaber. The movements jarring against what she was use to, blaster or staff. After she had returned the lightsaber to Luke and he had rejected her, Rey not seen one except for Kylo's.

She felt the bitterness spread as she thought about what little she had learned about her past. It was because of him she had grown up alone on Jakku and suffered through starvation. Fending off slave traders because of her fair face. People trying to steal from her and worse. Unkar Plutt keeping her just barely fed but slyly hinting at the portions she could get if she used her body.

Kylo parried one of her attacks but she spun using the momentum to attack more fiercely. Rey could feel the Force flowing through her like it had on Starkiller base. The Dark side of the Force gave her energy as she tried to bring the saber down on Kylo but he froze her with the Force.

Rey screamed at him mentally. She broke his hold and hit him on the arm. She could smell his flesh burn. He used the Force to throw her back against the wall before he opened the flood gates of the bond. 

She could feel his smug approval. He was pleased with her fighting. It had only taken a minute before she had drifted toward her anger and despair. He released his hold on her and took the saber from her.

Rey had fallen in a cycle of anger. Anger at herself, at Kylo for taking her, Luke for abandoning her twice, and at the unfairness. She should be stronger than this.

"Many Jedi turn to the Dark even after years of training themselves on patience and calm. Their peace is a lie. That is why the Light always falls to the Dark because passion is the only truth." 

Rey tried to ignore his words. It didn't sound wrong but she knew his perspective was skewed. Anything he told her or taught her would have the taint of Dark. She struggles against his hold as he comes closer to stand over her.

"This is fine for today. We can try more meditation in our rooms later." Kylo said casually.

Rey glanced up at Kylo like she would shatter. His clothes had been in the closet but she had fooled herself into thinking he would leave her alone.. 

"You still don't really understand, do you?" Kylo asked. His tone was almost pitying.

Rey felt the questions in her eyes. What was she suppose to understand?

"Did Skywalker tell you anything about the Force Bond?"

"Is that what you call this?" Rey asked quietly. He always knew more and aside from one time, he always showed her up. Always interfered, that voice in the back of her mind.

Kylo dove into her mind. He delved into her memories. Yes, he had seen the memory of her rejection but it was almost a year before he saw her after Starkiller while he completed his training. He thought Skywalker had taught her at least to meditate or how to block Kylo. He had come back with her to the Resistance and the bond had been so very weak. Surely, Skywalker wouldn't have left her defenseless against him.

Rey's mind pounded as Kylo found the memories he was looking for. 

Rey could feel Kylo's shock and confusion.

*All this time, with this much potential and power. You are still completely untaught?*

Rey felt pure undistilled rage envelop him. He was vibrating with violence. She felt a silent sob choke her as the emotions she felt in him explode outward and then rapidly sucked back in.

The world felt silent like a bomb had gone off.

Rey looked up at him. There was an eerie calm to him. He looked her in the eyes she could see the hatred and violence spiraling into a tight ball at his core. His warm hand on her face brought her out of his emotions. Rey felt tears stream down her face. 

"Just as well that coward never taught you. You are mine." Kylo said with a ferocity inhuman. She felt herself get pulled into his arms.

For once, she didn't struggle. He held her and pulled her hair out of its knots. As he stroked her hair, she sensed that he hated her hair buns. It made him think of how his Uncle had left her on Jakku with lies about family. A family who would never come.

He grabbed the back of her hair and pulled. It felt like he pulled on nerve endings. She almost liked his grip and held back a moan. He kissed her. Before when she was pacified and he kissed her, it had been gentle and testing.

This felt like he would devour her. He kissed her lips furiously before leaning down to her neck. His teeth just barely pressed into her flesh before he kissed it and moved his way back up to her mouth.

Her mouth was slightly opened when he assaulted it again. He licked the inside of her mouth and his tongue began to move against hers. She kissed back mimicking his moves and sliding her tongue against his.

Her breasts pressed up against him. Her nipples were hard against her breast bindings. Kylo released her hair to run his hand under her shirt and bindings. His hand against her flesh made her gasp into his mouth. 

Then like ice water had been dumped on her she remembered who this was and tried to push against him. She turned her head away and he grasped her closer. She was flush against the line of his body, he felt like a furnace with the heat he was giving off. He kissed her neck again. She could feel what she was certain was his prominent erection.

She felt his breath on her ear before he murmured, "I got carried away." He slowly teased her ear with his teeth before stepping back. She held onto him for a moment disoriented before stepping back again.

She felt her hand go to her lips as she stared at him. She couldn't keep up with him. One minute he was enraged and murderous, the next he couldn't stop touching her.

"What do you want from me?" Rey heard the tremor in her voice. 

"Everything."


	7. Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So my phone tried to catch fire. Got a might bit distracted with that and work. Apologies for anyone who might be following :)

It had been three weeks. An infuriating and frustrating three weeks. Kylo Ren is the most terrifying creature she had ever met.

She discovered it slowly. Of course she had seen him murder his own father. That had been that moment he murdered his humanity. The fragments that were left were tangled with his obsession with her. 

Though he seemed much calmer, it felt as though his rage was more lethal. Focused to a cold point. Sometimes when he touched her she could almost forget the Darkness within. The bond clouded things. He didn't leave her alone.

She sat in the corner of the room. Couldn't sleep because of the dreams. The first time had been innocent enough but now... She dare not sleep. She felt the Dark flowing between them. A vicious feedback loop she could not escape. He fed anger and fear into the air with his passion. It was a steady thrum. An undercurrent she was drowning in.

Rey felt safest against his chest. Her mind disagreed but her body would calm in his arms. She fought against him by keeping her distance. By rebelling against the perverse comfort. When they sparred she fought for her life while he made it a game of lingering touches.

At night she found herself in his arms. He would work at her muscles, soothing both of them with the physical contact. She dreaded fully waking and having to fight against him. Having to run from the only thing holding her sanity together. The monster slowly driving her mad.

They were back to meditating. She had learned to focus on her anger. She could struggle against his control for a few seconds before succumbing. She had fought every step and learned only for survival. His proximity had led to dealing with the constant pressure of his mind. Even open as she was to his mind, the meager shields she erected only stopped her from projecting.

It wasn't enough she could feel herself changing. She felt her need for him grow so much so that she missed him when he was gone for hours. Not that she would admit it aloud. She had almost grown use to his mental presence.

He was leaving for a mission. He was running his hands up and down her arms trying to soothe her. He would be leaving for a week. She was tentative because she could feel how the Force Bond had strengthened. She now had a constant desire to touch him. 

She held in a sigh as he pulled her back against him.

He leaned down and nibbled on her ear, *I will still be in your mind. You will meditate. I must gather supplies.*

And pull the strings to bring down Snoke? She had learned his hatred. The torture, manipulation, and lies had turned Kylo against Snoke. Rey caught flashes of Kylo's memories sometimes. How a person could survive that kind of "training" she didn't understand.

Suddenly she felt him pressing into her mind. Compelling her to train and not escape. She sighed barely resisting because at this point it was useless. She would never be rid of him in this life. Not until she could learn to resist.

His hand travelled down her front tweaking her nipple.

She felt the sensation shoot down to her privates like a bullet. What if that had been his teeth?

She felt herself swiftly turned around. Her top was shoved up as Kylo dropped to his knees. Apparently she had been a little loud with that thought.

He paused before sucking in her right nipple.She felt her muscles go weak as he caught her without letting go.

He sucked hard almost milking her breast. She felt light headed and felt herself dampen. She tried to hold on to him only to find herself pressing him closer.

Abruptly, she pushed him away from her and pulled her top down. She could could still feel the pleasure shooting downward like a hot line down, down. She was curious at herself. It was definitely her thought that led to that. She heard a low chuckle and she turned furious. 

She felt her fury and the Force slams into Kylo. He barely flinches.

His previous mirth vanishes and he slams her into the wall with the Force. He holds her there as he slowly walks toward her. His finger traces her lips. She shivers, she could feel the violence he restrained only just barely. Nothing could set him off like she did.

"I will be gone five days minimum. I expect you to keep up your training to my expectations while I am gone."

Rey wanted to ask him where he was going. She also knew he would not discuss it.

He kissed her forehead. Cupping her face, she felt herself lean up to him. She also could feel his satisfaction. He leaned down devouring her mouth.

She remained restrained until he turned and left the room.


	8. Eight

At first, Kylo's absense had been a relief. She had her first real sleep in three weeks. He had crowded her space and whenever she slept she fell into his dreams.

Sometimes they were just fighting. Other times she dreamt she was Dark. She stood by Kylo an equal and more.

These were the most disturbing.

The miasma of his presence had left her more clear headed in his absence. She attempted meditation but she could feel him through the connection.

Standing she paced. Only now without Kylo in her face she realized just how little she had to do besides train. 

*****

As the second day wore on she kept trying to reach for the bond. For a time it had gone completely silent. When it returned she felt the edge of the tether, his rage leeching through to her.

She tried to block him out but her mind worried at the bond. She found herself anxious and pacing. Her focus was frayed and her head hurt.

She went to the bed to nap. Maybe she could sleep through this feeling. 

***

At first, her awareness was limited to sound. The clash of sabers. She could see him now, fighting four other masked men. They were live blades. He dripped blood onto the floor. Flashes of memory, of his blood staining the snow. 

He senses her then and swiftly disarms one opponent, the second hit in the back swing much like Finn had been. Rage filled her at the thought but she was afraid. If he died here who would take her. She realized she didn't want him dead. Guilt and loathing permeated her being. 

Kylo killed the third who had injured him earlier and took the arm of the fourth. He fell over and attempted to crawl. Kylo stepped on his back and severed his head.

He turned to her then. He was stained crimson. 

Rey woke and sat up abruptly. That was too real and again he could see her just like the first time she had seen him. In that vision he had stalked toward her lethal and determined.

She almost was glad of his mask in those visions. His face and emotions obscured. She was afraid of what was in his mind. Her death or possession.

His scent was in the sheets and she found herself inhaling. It was spicy and deep. She curled in on herself. 

*My little spy. You should be more careful.*

She was shocked. That was real. She chose to ignore him. She needed to hate him.

*If you cannot meditate then practice your forms. Or practice manipulating the Force.*

Rey nodded feeling the connection between them. She was calmer and tried to ignore why she suddenly felt better. She could feel a dark chuckle in the back of her mind as she practiced her forms.


	9. Chapter 9

On the sixth day, Rey feared she would go mad. It had been two days of compete silence. She was sure he was still alive but she could feel nothing from him.

Rey told herself she was fine. She would just keep practicing. The fine hairs on her body stood on end. She had barely slept. She felt the Dark side enter into her forms. Her movements felt like a ritual of fear and despair. 

She felt his presence and the bond snapping back open. She did all she could to contain her relief. He sensed it anyway. She could feel his secret smile in her mind.

She waited in their rooms. She did not pretend she wouldn't go to meet him if she could. Her mind felt fractured.

It was an hour before the doors finally opened. She stood up from the ground quickly before catching herself. She was acting too eager. She stood stock still as she watched him tear off his mask and gloves before stalking to her.

He grabbed her and forcefully kissed her. She could feel his desire and need like it was her own. She had missed his company.

He stopped, pulling back and looking at her with dark, hungry eyes. He brushed his thumb across her lower lip.

"You missed me."

She stiffened in his arms. Was there anything this man couldn't pluck from her mind? She bristled at his hand grazing down her side. Then, stupidly, she thought about her friends for the first time. Was he able to...

"I have no use for the Resistance or my uncle. They are a distraction from you." His voice low with a coarse edge to it.

She felt a chill settle in her a spine at the thought of his undivided attention. She needed to learn but she needed to win.

*I will hone you like a fine edge. You will kneel to me before the end.*

Rey wanted to deny but she was afraid he was right. His face was so close she could feel their breath mingle.

He released her abruptly. She felt almost dizzy from the loss of contact.

"Come. I am tired and need to rest." Kylo went and laid down on the bed. She wanted to be stubborn and make him haul her to bed but she was afraid of the repercussions. She didn't trust him to hold onto the same restraint now that she needed him.

He lifted the covers. She slid in like it was where she was meant to be. She rapidly shook off that thought hoping it would be missed or ignored. She almost sighed when he wrapped his arms around her pulling her close to his chest.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the wonderful comments :D Inspires me to keep going down this dark hole ;) I am truly humbled.

Her dreams were chaotic. Flashes of events, she would hear people speak. 

A voice heavily modulated similar to Kylo's but so much more terrifying. "You don’t know the power of the dark side."

She could feel legs under her and she was running.

She entered a room that looked warm and cozy but the atmosphere was heavy. She recognized the voices even if she couldn't see them clearly.

"Uncle, how can you not teach her? I can feel her strength in the Force."

She heard the tired sigh of a man without a hope. He had given the galaxy hope but left none for himself.

"You don't know the whole story Ben. If I did it could be catastrophic."

"She's a child, her soul is like sunshine."

"If her Light fails... Even an eclipse will block the Light."

She felt her mind drift from this argument. It felt familiar somehow.

Rain is pouring, Kylo is older and she see bodies everywhere. The Jedi academy. She is thankfully out of sight when she hears a scream of pain and despair come from him. 

Then she is in a small room with a younger Kylo. He looks more innocent though there is always a shadow lurking withing him.. He is dressing a cut on her lip.

"I know you didn't start the fight but you really didn't need to retaliate so violently." His voice was quiet but he might as well have been yelling. She didn't want to disappoint him.

She feels her child self nod emphatically. "Sorry Ben, they were saying mean things."

"Don't mind what they say about you." Ben used his hand to brush her hair back.

"I know Ben but I can't help it when they are talking about you!"

He turns to her and tries to shrug but sees the hurt.

"My grandfather was a powerful Force user and they are afraid of him, that I might turn like him." He says the words quietly, embarrassed.

"Will you?"

He looks at her sharply. "No, I..."

"I don't mind just don't... Don't forget to take me with you." The girl says with a trembling voice.

He hugs the girl to him. "I will never forget you. I will always find you."

"Not if I find you!" 

****

Rey wakes up drenched in sweat. What the Force was that? Memories? Dreams? Visions? She got up going to the restroom. 

She stared in the mirror at herself in the dim lighting. She looked stronger but tired. Her eyes were bloodshot. She felt the desire to go back to Kylo flare and she stuffed it down.

She had made a grave error. She had thought she could resist Kylo, resist this bond.

She was getting nowhere fast. She was under his thumb. She was no closer to blocking him out. It was getting worse. And that dream...

Rey her face with cold water. She had to leave. Before he made her his creature. If she wasn't already.


	11. Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kylo chapter! Sorry I keep having short updates I will try to make the next chapter long since I needed some time lapse.

He circled her silently. She had filled out nicely since she was no longer starving. The curves of her body distracting him. When he truly upset her, he could coax a cold, dark place of her soul to bloom in battle. She used the bond to counter him and borrow years of training.

Still she could not best him, she didn't seem to actually try to kill him. Sure he had many burns and bruises but she never went for his actual saber hanging from his side. Ever since his errand to placate Snoke and annihilate a Resistance outpost she had been behaving differently.

She was more... amendable to his advances. She still resisted, refusing to fully submit to him despite her increasing skill manipulating the Dark side.

Kylo caught it then, a ripple of hope and rebellion. His little scavenger was planning an adventure. He wondered how best to handle it. A rare opportunity to teach her but what would be the lesson? For all her supposed resistance, she didn't seem to be winning.

She focused her mind on his intent on his thoughts but they were locked behind a wall of shadow. He smiled behind the wall, like a predator showing his teeth. He scanned her mind seeing the realization that she was unable to resist burning bright. Her anger and shame... She was afraid of his control.

He pushed her back against the wall using the Force. It was a favorite of his, seeing her pressed helpless against the wall. Struggling with exertion and rage, she was exquisitely beautiful.

He walked toward her, a smirk on his face.

"I never told you why I had to leave a few weeks ago did I?" Kylo's tone was nonchalant but he could feel her curiosity burning. She had asked when he first returned and wisely not asked again. With the pace of her training he had left little time for discussion.

Rey silently stared at him. Her eyes burned from within, with more than just hatred.

"Of course, I had to go to Snoke to grovel and destroy a few things. He believes me still that weak man despite surviving his training." He looked into her wary eyes, her mind suspicious.

"Skywalker has abandoned the Resistance. The General is struggling with numbers and resources. His loss has put doubt into the minds of those who financially support the Resistance." He says it all in an apathetic voice. He searches for her reaction.

Rey closes her eyes against his gaze. He can sense her turmoil. She is happy to be rid of Skywalker but she worries for her friends. 

He wants to comfort her, but crushes the feeling. He couldn't be soft on her. It was better for her in the long run. He had to be hard on her. He would temper her into a Dark user worthy of her heritage.

He pulled his gloves off and traced his fingers along her jaw and lips.

He traces the rim of her ear with his lips and he hears her sharp intake of breath. He whispers in her ear, "I know the truth now. I know your family."

He feels her stiffen. She speaks the first words she has all week, her voice raspy.

"Tell me. Are they...?"

"They are all dead." He says it with finality. He can't let her have any doubt.

Her eyes blaze in question, surely...

"Rey, in exchange for training. For actually trying, and succeeding I would reward you with the knowledge of who they were. I know most of the story now but there is more to investigate." He stares into her eyes wanting to see the rage that would soon consume her. Would compel her to trade her Light for the shadow.

"They were murdered, leaving only you behind."

He feels the explosion, the questions that fly in circles around her like razors. Cutting her deeper with questions and fury. The air crackles with energy. She has never looked more radiant.

"Help me destroy my Master. You must become powerful in the Dark side to stand a chance. Then we will be free to investigate their deaths and exact retribution." He kisses her and her lips are pliant. She is wary. They both know she has no other options but she turns her head away anyway. 

Pulling her face back, he leans forward to kiss her when he hears the door open. Kylo releases her before he turns to the intruder. He feels rage course though his being, death settles like a shroud as he steps toward the man with ginger hair who is already frozen in place by a Force choke.

Rey's Force choke.

She had hidden in the shadows of the room and swiftly choked the intruder. He was pleased at her response to a threat. He had seen in her mind the times she had defended herself on Jakku. She had killed before but always in defence. 

Unfortunately, he couldn't let her execute Hux. He had told the fool countless times to never enter his quarters. Kylo motioned to Rey to release him. 

Hux dropped to the floor, sputtering to catch his breath. Kylo kicked him on his back having no patience for his meddling much less in this. 

Hux tried to pull himself to his feet but Rey swept out a hand to push him back to the floor. Kylo could sense her fear lashing out. She was using it to keep Hux down and he decided to allow it.

"It would seem my apprentice dislikes your interruption. I suggest you tell me your purpose. This is a critical stage and it makes my apprentice... prone to outbursts." His tone allowed no argument. Any damage Hux sustained from this encounter would be his own fault.

When Kylo had returned from completing his training, he had been near dead. His mind a spiraling mess of madness and obsession. He was stationed on the Finalizer for Hux to observe him. Snoke would never trust him. No matter his devotion, Snoke was only using him. It was then that he had his vision of his future with Rey. Under their control the galaxy would be at peace. It had taken far too long to get to this point. 

"The Supreme leader requests your presence for a holo conference about the location of the last Jedi. We have a mission to complete."

Hux lifted his head trying to get a good look at Ren's apprentice but the room had been mostly dark and he had put on the hood of his outfit.

"I am sure the Supreme leader will be glad to know you have taken an apprentice. Though I am disappointed to see he has your poor manners."

Kylo was pleased that Hux hadn't realized his apprentice's identity. Judging by her use of the Force, it was time for him to give Rey the uniform she would wear.

"Leave us." Kylo said imperiously before Hux felt the invisible weight lift off him. Hux scurried out of the room, probably eager to go tell Snoke about his apprentice.

He strides over to Rey, grabbing her hair to hold her still for a deep kiss. She is still hesitant but cooperative. That would do for now.

Now it was time to see if her training so far could protect her from Snoke. Even through a holo he was formidable. 


	12. Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to Rey, thanks so much for the comments they are very inspiring! I can't tell you how much I truly appreciate that others enjoy. Mostly, I like taking characters to extremes.

Rey felt her skin shivering. Her muscles flexing and flinching involuntarily. She could feel the power coursing through her veins.  
  
It was heady. A rush of adrenaline dominated by fear and an anger she wouldn't acknowledge. She notices through the overwhelming panic that she has fled to the recesses of the dark room. Her hand splayed out like Kylo's would be while she held the intruder down with the Force.  
  
Distantly, she realizes she could kill him. She had never accessed this much power before. The man tries to stand but she feels the pulse of her fear bear down on him. He crashes back to the floor. The sound is strangely satisfying.  
  
Kylo motions for her to release him. She does and turns away, hiding her face within Kylo's cloak. She hears the sound of the door closing and she feels some of the tension ease. Turns back to look, gripping her arms against herself.  
  
Had she just attacked a man for coming in? She wasn't sure how long she had been here now. Time and memory were hazy. She had been having more dreams or at least remembering them. They were all about Ben before... But it hurt to remember.  
  
Kylo had moved closer while she had fallen into her spiral of thoughts and emotions. She was drowning and he was the only one reaching out a hand to safety. His protection had a price and she didn't know if it was a cost she could bear.  
  
She jerks violently when he touches her. It isn't like his other touches. It isn't fighting, it isn't seduction, and she stills at the realization he is trying to comfort her. His hand on her arm is gentle. Still so wary of another's touch. Especially his.  
  
Her eyes lock on his dark eyes that hold a world of emotion in them. If she is with him, he is the only one who will ever hurt her. He wouldn't dare let anyone else. She can never trust him like she once did but maybe she could survive? She could trust his obsession if not him.  
  
She felt the Dark boiling within her. She feels fragile as she turns to Kylo but her soul is burning. She has taken a taste of the forbidden fruit. She failed to remain uncorrupted. She will not be able to turn from it. She was in his dark orbit now.  
  
Her fall is unimportant and she will mourn later. Regardless of any honor or justice, she would survive. This is the only person who can truly keep her safe. Better to have the madness on her side if she couldn't win outright. She would be patient and try to bleed off the Dark like a venom.  
  
As long as she had breath, she could still win.

Her hand on Kylo's face, she could feel all the bindings between them. The threads that tied them together and she pulled on them. Tightening them closer together binding them with Darkness. If she could not escape, neither could he.

It was almost instinct as she kissed him.

Kylo is frozen. The onslaught of a kiss and mental intimacy left him enthralled.

*You will never betray me.” It was a demand she made, she was becoming more embedded within his mind. His obsession with her is intimidating. The full scale of it and the denial. He told himself it is the Force bond and the challenge he loves, not her necessarily. That could be seen as weak but no this was an advantage.

She could feel his smugness then. She withdraws and turns away. Suddenly, where before she could do the equivalent of parlor tricks, she has immense power. She has access to a mind that has already learned and trained. That is how she must have managed to beat him back on Starkiller. She could feel his memories, they were turbulent but the knowledge...

“I won't betray you. But to kill Snoke, you will suffer. You will want to kill me more than ever before. It is impossible. Neither of us could ever kill the other no matter how much we want. The bond prevents it.” His voice is convincing, but she wonders the truth of it. Only mercy had ever stayed her hand on Jakku.

“Now that you have been discovered, we will have to adjust our plans. I have a feeling you will be more useful that I previously thought.”

His tone is irritating but she knows he means to praise her. He doesn't need to sound quite so pleased.

He turns her around to face him. He holds her chin roughly as he examines her closely. She can feel then that her Light isn't gone, just changed.

“There is no Dark or Light to the Force. There is only balance. It is easier to use the strength of your emotions. The Jedi are flawed because of that. They have erased all emotion.”

He is bitter. He was a troubled child and teenager. At fifteen she had been his only friend despite the age gap. She could remember bits and pieces, little things. A sound or a way he would cock an eyebrow up on occasion. 

She could feel his trepidation and his eagerness. He wanted her to remember.

“Will you take it from my mind or do you want to remember yourself?” Kylo asks her.

She tries to look away but her chin is still in his grasp. His gloves still on, the leather feels alien against her skin.

“We can try later. For now you will need to build your shields and layer your thoughts like when you were considering escape.”

Her eyes snapped back to his face, the fire burning away despair. He needed her anger not her sorrow. She could feel the fire burning hotter even as she knew it was what he wanted.

He strokes his hands down her arms. He knows she needs a light touch. It is hard to hold back. The way she kisses, full of fury and determination. The Force signature she emits has changed. A pulsar radiating Light but it is swallowed by the aphotic depths of space. The emptiness and loneliness of her abandonment imbued her with what seemed like near limitless potential. And yet there is still Light, as small as it seems it has immense gravity and luminosity.

She has become more like him. Trapped between the two and she would never be able to go back.

The Jedi order was as good as dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I will probably switch between the two points of view from this point on. It will probably make more sense and I like giving you guys peaks into what this version of Kylo in my head might be like.


	13. Thirteen

Kylo steps away from her. She feels lost for a moment without his touch grounding her. The Force flowing through her is heady in a way it never has been before. She watches as he punches something into a holo before going over to the closet with his clothes in it.

He shoves a good bit aside before leaning to the back to grab a pair.

But these were different. Very similar but obviously much smaller. He walks back to her slowly. She can see it is a similar looking material but once he hands it to her it feels smoother.

It is all black of course but it is at least simpler than his outfit.

“Will I have a mask too?” Her voice is mocking but also curious. She wanted to say it was sweet but…she just couldn't.

This man had chased her across the galaxy and killed countless people in the Resistance to get to her. He has manipulated her and confined her. Yet, this bond makes her want to be with him. Maybe that was better than a fairy tale. More real anyway.

“I imagine that you don't want to advertise your identity. You have been discovered but it was going to happen soon enough. This way they will believe I am unprepared. That you are unprepared.” His voice is quiet. He is treating her like she is skittish.

Then she realizes that he is taking her outside this room. She feels excitement well up inside her. She would have more options. But just as soon as she considers escape she discards it. It is futile for the time being.

“Did you make one for me?”

“Yes, I'm having a droid fetch it now. It will be safer to for you that no one knows your identity. Snoke undoubtedly will make you take your mask off and Hux is sometimes coherent enough to figure it out.”

She realized then that this is mostly so the Resistance doesn't know. So her friends don't know.

Was she relieved that he had thought of that? She believed that this would help in the long run if they killed Snoke. She was lost undoubtedly but maybe there was hope for the galaxy without Snoke. She felt a sense of dread. What would she be made to do as his apprentice outside of these walls?

“The faster you learn then the faster we will be able to get to the point where Snoke will insist on meeting you to finish your training. He moves his base of operations constantly.”

“How long will that take?” She tried to keep her voice unconcerned but she could hear the worry.

“That is up to you, my apprentice.” He said solemnly.

She holds the clothes closer to her. All she gets from the clothing is a sense of layers.

“You will have to start calling me master. You will need to be loyal and subservient. A little fire is fine but with Snoke it will tempt him into trying to throttle that flame.”

Rey felt fear snake through her gut, “If he is so powerful, how will I stop him? He will be able to rip through my mind.”

“You can block me for a couple minutes and that is more than sufficient. He is at a distance. I am integrated with your mind and you are able to briefly block me. You will do well so long as you hang onto your hatred and anger.”

Rey nods but all she can feel is fear.

“Remember, everything I do is to our benefit. I know you don't trust me fully but I will do anything to protect you. I can only assist so much. I need you to understand that because you will hate me after meeting Snoke. Just remember who is the real enemy.”

“I understand.” She says it but she doesn't. He is warning her but she doesn't know what he is warning her against.

He raises a hand to her face. Holding her cheek in his palm. “Master.”

Rey wants to choke but seems to have been placed in a situation where this is the wisest choice.

“I understand, master.”


	14. Fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo has a new outfit for Rey.

Rey had changed in the bathroom. It was like a feminized version of his outfit. More comfortable and easier to get into as the top didn't come apart but was sewn together. The sleeves coming down to points on her hand. When she came out she felt nervous.

Kylo strode over to her with boots and gloves. She put them on but kept her eyes on him. She felt uneasy. This room had become safe and he had become safe. Leaving would change that. She was avoiding thinking about what she would endure on the other side.

“It has already changed. Snoke knows about you by now. I will bring you with me. Doubtless, they will have no problem finishing their discussions without me.” His tone is calm and she tries to breath more easily as she pulls her gloves on.

The door opens, a droid comes in carrying a long cape and a helmet. Kylo takes the items. The droid leaves as he brings the items over to her.

She picks up the helmet first. It looks a bit like Mandalorian armor but all black and silver. Kylo takes the cloak and attaches to the locks on her top. It drapes around her covering her form.

“The cloak is something like what my grandfather would have worn. Even with a hood the mask is necessary. It is much easier to breath through and not as hot as you might think.”

She looks closely at the mask. She had seen this type of armor rarely on offworlders and from what she had overheard their armor was well known for being exceptional. This was just a similar look but it felt intimidating.

She turned it around and tried to put it on her head. She heard it lock into place like Kylo's did. The helmet felt like it had air flow through vents. It felt a little claustrophobic but tolerable.

Her visibility was better than she would have thought her peripheral vision suffered but with the Force she should be able to sense anyone around her.

“All I'm missing is a lightsaber.” She heard herself gasp through the voice modulator at the sound of her voice.

Her voice sounded dark and intimidating.

She could feel how pleased Kylo was but ignored it. She also had to ignore the thrill of pleasure she felt at the thought that _no one_ would dare meddle with her.

“It is time for us to go. He will be waiting.”

“Yes, master.”


	15. Fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey is brought before Snoke.

Rey walked through the hallway following Kylo. Her heart was pounding and felt heavy in her chest with dread. Kylo had confidence in her but she had been in his memories and dreams. 

She had seen the destruction and misery Snoke had visited upon Kylo. He called it training but it was torture. Snoke dipping into Kylo's mind to warp memories and emotions. Snoke sitting in the shadows on a stone dias, wielding the Force against Kylo. Making the air bleed with his pain. Forcing Kylo to fight and kill in duels until he could barely stand.

That monster didn't make Kylo turn Dark. Snoke had helped but the Dark side pulsated within Kylo like a black hole. And he wanted nothing more than to devour her completely. She had no illusions that he would ever come back to the Light. With the Light he had struggled and the pain he inflicted on himself now... He was a monster and he thrived as one.

She clenches her fists at her sides as she walks trying to warm herself with anger but all she can feel is that cold dread.

They got on a lift and as the doors closed Kylo places his hand on her neck gripping it firmly. He loosens his grip and splays his hand moving it down her back slowly.

She turned her head fully to look at him. His mask is ominous.

*Be calm.*

She nods before turning back when the door opens. Kylo strides out and she hurries after him. Stormtroopers are on this level and she could feel them.

Kylo walks up to one but she misses what he says before the pair of Stormtroopers went off.

*What was that?*

*It doesn't matter. Let's get going.*

Rey followed behind her “master” wondering just how she was going to make it through this. She hoped that Kylo wasn't wrong.

It took another five or so minutes before they reach their destination. Kylo opens the doors to a large room with a holo projector. Kylo walked to the place where they would stand motioning for her to join him. It was a pretty decent area squared off for their images to be projected.

“Stand just out of range and step forward when I tell you.”

Rey nods feeling her anxiety in her stomach buzzing like angry insects.

Kylo uses the Force to hit the switch. It is only a few moments and the visage of Snoke appears. His gnarled appearance is more horrifying to her eyes than Kylo's memories. She was glad of the mask suddenly because she could hide her face. Even if for just a moment.

“Kylo Ren. I have been waiting for you but it would appear you were preoccupied?”

His voice sounds amiable enough but there was something hidden. A threat? Or warning? The tension in the room is expectant and ominous.

“Master, you had told me it wise to claim an apprentice as we are not Sith. That we should have more strength if I found one worthy.”

Snoke leaned forward in his seat. “And have you found a worthy apprentice?” His voice was grave.

“Her power is worthy but I would demonstrate it to you.”

Snoke seemed suddenly much more interested. “She?”

Kylo called for her to come forward in her mind and she stepped onto the platform. Her body shook under this creature's eyes.

“Ah, yes she certainly does look the part. Is this the scavenger that eluded you?”

Kylo nodded. “Her potential was too much for the coward and he refused her.”

She felt suddenly like a thousand bugs were crawling across her skin. She refortified her shields.

“Her Light is strong but the Dark within her is hungry. Her mind is clouded from me at this distance.” Snoke says the last part with disdain.

The doors behind them open and Rey feels herself jump back, crouching to the ground. She wants to reach for her staff but it isn't there. She hears the soft chuckle of the monster behind her at her jumpiness.

Two Stormtroopers are dragging in a man who is bloodied and bruised. His face is swollen but she recognizes him, barely. This was the man who helped nurse Finn back to health. A prominent leader of the Resistance. Poe Dameron.

Poe was dragged up to the platform and held in place by the Stormtroopers. It was all she could do to remain silent and not lash out at Kylo.

She could feel a cold fury building within her. Her entire body vibrated with hatred. He had kept him captured, tortured him for at least a month. How dare he?

Kylo stood over Poe but even to her eye she could tell the man was broken. She had been friendly with him but kept her distance after being rejected by Luke. Poe had been promoted and he was one of the many people who met with Leia and Luke. 

As a rule, Rey had kept her distance from anyone to do with Luke. She did her work on ships and tried to stay out of the politics. She had stolen a ship when she left. She probably wasn't on the best of terms because of that.

Poe didn't know it was her though. She was afraid of where this was going.

“Tell us what you told me about Skywalker.”

Poe coughed, his voice barely recognizable, “He left to hunt down Rey. We wanted the First Order to think we were weak. She is important. Luke had hidden her before and he had to keep an eye on her.”

Rey felt chills go down her back. Poe knew something and never told her? Luke never told her? Leia? Did even Finn know?

“Why is she important?” Kylo's voice sounds eager.

“I already told you.”

Kylo kicks Poe and she clenches her hands trying to not move. What did he know? She couldn't stop Kylo from hurting Poe. She could feel Snoke’s eyes on her. This was a test. It wouldn't take a moment though for a broken man to sing. 

“Her grandfather was a powerful Force user!”

Kylo kicks Poe again. Poe is on his side, blood dripping from his mouth as he coughs trying to catch his breath.

“Her grandfather was Palpatine!”

Rey feels shock go through her. A name! She would be able to learn so much now. She had a place to start.

“Her grandfather was the Emperor. Interesting.”

Rey turns back toward Snoke. She feels as though she has turned to stone but has already shattered. Only her will is keeping her from fracturing into dust. Then she feels the fire within her chest explode outward in rage.

When her mind clears she realizes that she is Force choking Poe and has thrown the Stormtroopers back into the wall. Kylo is standing to her side watching her intently.

She releases Poe and collapses.

****

Kylo looked down at Rey's fallen form. She knew nothing about where she came from. He would teach her about the Empire from a different perspective.

“The girl will be very useful. If she has the abilities of Sidious, her potential for the Dark side will be legendary.”

Kylo bows to his master.

“But her Light is so strong. Where could she have gotten that from in the conditions she was raised in?”

Kylo lifts his head to the hologram of his master. “Her other grandfather was Kenobi. He was a true Jedi. But in his youth, he strayed briefly for love.”

“Take the prisoner if he is still alive and train her as you must. We will delay seeking the last Jedi until she is more trained.”

Kylo bows his head again, “Yes, Supreme leader.”

“Do not become distracted from your goals. I will not tolerate failure in this matter.”

The hologram shut off and Kylo picked up Rey. He carried her slight form in his arms like he had so long ago on Takodana. It would be best if she didn't learn of her Jedi heritage just yet.

As Kylo left he ordered the nearest stormtrooper to take the prisoner back to his cell. As he walked away he looked down at Rey. Her mask hiding the tears that were coming from her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I couldn't decide which way I wanted to go with it so I picked both. I think I will have fun with it as both ;)
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy!


	16. Chapter 16

Memories and visions flash behind Rey's eyes. 

A million words layered over one another, sometimes she might catch a sentence, "This fully operational battle station!"

The voice was dark. The evil seeped into her very bones. She was saturated by it. She feels herself cry out but she cannot wake.

Then everything stops and she is a cold, cold room. It was large with a wall made of glass. The dark stretches of space look dizzyingly empty. Pinpoints of light in the darkness. She notices the figure in front of the window. A dark hooded robe, his back to her. There is a desk. It is neat with a communicator and not much else. 

She walks toward the man. She is wary even if she is still in a vision.

The man turns back to the desk pressing the communicator. She gasps at his face. The unnatural lines of his face. His eyes burned from his face. She couldn't sense anything from him.

Then his eyes slid over her and she felt a chill go down her spine. He couldn't see her, could he? Then she could feel something deep and dark slither across her skin.

"Emperor?" The voice coming from the communicator said and she felt her stomach drop this was...

"Raeya." He says the name as a command and they seem to understand. 

"Gone, sire."

The glass behind the Emperor cracks into a million fine lines. Somehow still intact.

"Find her." There is a depth to his voice. The threat unsaid but apparent as he shut off the device.

Rey walks closer to him. And he half turns to her.

"Begone, ghost." He waves his hand and she is knocked out of the vision.

****

She feels tears in her eyelashes as she opens her eyes. She distantly realizes she is being carried and she tries to relax but the mask is disorienting. They have arrived back as their rooms and she quickly removes the helmet, throwing it aside trying to gasp for air.

She couldn't breathe.

She kept gasping and she turns to Kylo the fear making it harder to breath. There is a tightness in her chest and the faster she breathes the more panic settles in. She looks at Kylo with wide eyes as he rips his mask off taking her into his arms.

He can't stand her panic. He would help her to understand. Someday she would feel pride but for now he settled into her mind and breathed with her. 

She stares at him. Her heart pounding wildly and she feels it slowly sync with his heart. She stares at him, mouth agape as he leans forward and kisses her. 

The kiss is so gentle. His arms feel so rough as the hold her to him and she is drowning in the sensations. She sighs into his mouth and feels her body slowly relax. Her hands are resting on his chest and he pulls back. His dark eyes are so liquid, so deep. Always so very sad.

She felt her hand go up to his cheek, the question silently asked.

What was it within him that was so very sad?

He releases her, she feels almost weak without him holding her but she stiffens her spine. She senses a tendril from him, an invitation. She hesitates. What would he show her? She wasn't ready to remember her time with him, especially from his eyes.

His back to her, she sees him clench his fists. 

*Please, I just want you to understand.* The pleading in his tone twisted something within her.

He didn't understand. Couldn't understand. All she had ever wanted was to be wanted. To have her family and be a part of something. She had made a new family in the Resistance, how could he think she would just throw that all aside? What was between them was wrong.

She feels him flinch at that thought. He doesn't argue with her but she can feel the fury beneath his facade of calm. 

"I have been alone so very long. You at least had forgotten me. For me, a part of my soul had been taken. I thought destroyed. You look so very different now."

He turns back to her just enough to look at her. 

"I wasn't sure of who you were but when I was finally sure, you ran."

"Of course, I ran!"

He swiftly walks back to her. He can't keep his distance from her. His right hand on the side of her neck, his left on her side. His eyes were wild. Insane with loss. 

"Do have any idea how maddening it is to have the one person you want and need in front of you but they have no memory of you? No memory of the promises we whispered to each other. You were alone from isolation. I was alone in a crowd."

Her heart aches for him. She can feel the desolation he had suffered, a million times worse after her disappearance.

She grips his tunic tightly and pulls him closer. "Show me then. Show why you are so obsessed."

He lifts his hand from her neck to cup her cheek. The shimmer of unshed tears in his eyes.

"Forgive me, I won't be able to hide my emotions from you. I know they might seem overwhelming but I've had visions of you before I met you. We bonded in an instant and I had never had anyone be so kind. Mother tried but..."

She nods, closing her eyes against him, against the well of emotion inside him. 

Then she was sucked into his memories.


	17. Seventeen

Rey had the sensation of falling.    
  
With a gasp she found herself standing in the corner of a room. She took a step toward the door, unsure of where she was until she saw into the adjoining room.   
  
A little girl was sitting on a rug stacking wooden blocks. The girl had stacked the blocks into a tower and as she placed the last one they wobbled. The girl took back her hands slowly but the tower started to spill. Rey waited for the crash of wood against wood but they stopped midair.   
  
The girl sighs, but the blocks crash to the ground as the door to the hallway opens.   
  
"Ben!" the girl, a tiny Rey, jumps into the teenage boy's arms. He smiles dimly but his emotions weigh down the air like a heavy fog.   
  
"Rey." Ben holds her to him tightly.    
  
She can see they are talking with each other through the Force and Rey feels herself stepping backwards.   
  
How could she not remember any of this?    
  
Her back met warmth and she looked back to see Kylo.    
  
*This is before Skywalker hid you. I had started teaching you against my uncle's wishes.*   
  
*What happened?* Rey asked quietly.   
  
Kylo looked back at the younger versions of the themselves.    
  
*Another student attacked me and could sense... I was struggling with the Dark. My uncle had allowed you to stay when he thought you might be a good influence. Before he was certain we had a bond.*   
  
The scenery changed and Ben was walking down from a hilltop. He had been meditating and training with his uncle's lightsaber. Two other padawans came out from the outcropping.   
  
Ben was polite but ignored the boys besides greeting them. As they passed each other the two boys turned and jumped Ben. This had been planned and Ben was on the ground dazed. The two boys begin dragging Ben away as a small Rey comes bounding down the hill.    
  
She freezes as she comes into sight. "Ben!"   
  
Ben struggles harder but one of the boys grabs a rock.    
  
The girl screams and the boys are thrown back from Ben with a dark surge. One slamming into the outcropping, his neck at an awkward angle.   
  
The girl is kneeling by Ben tears streaming down her face. There is a small cut on his head but it is bleeding profusely. The boy lying on the ground tries to sooth the girl but the Force feels like a storm around them.   
  
The thunderous presence of Luke Skywalker enters Rey's senses. She looks back at the pair. Her younger self having killed by accident using the Dark side. What happened?   
  
Ben is holding the girl in his arms as his uncle rounds the corner.    
  
The vision blends together until she sees the girl alone in a small room on her bed. Tears are streaming down the girl's face silently. The room feels absent of emotion but she can feel a strange pull to the girl. Rey takes a step but Kylo grabs her arm.   
  
*You cannot interfere in memories.*   
  
She jerks her arm from his grip and he allows her.  Ben comes in through the door shutting it behind him before going to the girl and scooping her into his arms.   
  
"I had talked him into letting me train you but he has changed his mind he wants to seal your powers."   
  
He grips her tighter, tears falling from his face. "I won't let him."   
  
The girl is still in his arms, her face turned away from Rey. Ben sets the girl down and the girl has one hand on his face.   
  
"Let the Jedi do as he wishes. You will find me."   
  
Rey feels a chill go down her spine. Her child self sounded so... Cold? Certain? Dark?   
  
Rey turned back to Kylo, *I've seen enough.*   
  
*There is no one single memory I can show you. We were only together a few months before this happened. Before Skywalker hid you.*   
  
*Then why show me anything?*   
  
*Because, even then you were different. You shouldn't fear your lineage. You never had a chance with Skywalker, the murderer of your grandfather.*   
  
Rey turns and pushes Kylo out of the vision and into a dreamscape. A place she doesn't recognize. The ground molten and fires nearby. The smell of sulfur in the air.    
  
*What is this place?*   
  
Kylo is silent and stares at the landscape before focusing back on her. She can feel anger welling up within him and spilling hot like blood in her mind. He steps forward before using the Force to choke her.

Her feet graze the ground.   
  
*Why bring me here!* Fury boils in him and she feels it like the burning in her lungs.   
  
Rey tries to claw at her through, feeling her nails draw blood as she stares, her air running out. This is a dream so surely she can't die. Panic sets in all the same as stars dot her vision. He drops her and even in a dream she feels herself gasp, the blood pounding in her head.   
  
The hot gravel digs into her knees as she glares up at Kylo.   
  
*I understand nothing! I am lost and you claim to be my ally. Prove it.*   
  
Kylo steps closer to Rey. *Mustafar, this place has special meaning... I'm sorry.*   
  
Rey huffs. He claims she means so much but she had seen how he treats those he loves. She never expected kindness from a man who could murder his own father.   
  
She pulls herself up, standing out of reach of Kylo for all the good that does.    
  
*Why did Luke leave me on Jakku full of lies?*   
  
Kylo comes closer and ignores the way Rey flinches at his touch. His leather gloves graze her neck like an apology. His gentleness is a lie.   
  
*He wanted you somewhere far away from me. He wanted you far away from anyone who might know of your past or the Force. An orphan on a junkyard planet? No one would pay you any mind. He lied about your family so you wouldn't leave.*   
  
Rey tries to turn from Kylo but his hands are on her arms holding her in place.   
  
*Luke defeated the Empire but they were able to protect most people. Those in the outer rim like Luke had outlaws running the show but within the Empire there was peace and prosperity.*   
  
*Their enemies suffered.*   
  
*The Emperor used human nature to his advantage but they gave fair terms even with force. A benevolent dictator is far more effective than any republic. Ruthlessness to achieve peace.*   
  
Rey wanted to believe her family was good but at what cost did they achieve so called peace?    
  
*What about my parents?*   
  
*It will take time to discover more. Be patient.*

She moves away as he pulls his hands back.

*I don't remember any of that. I don't know what you expect of me.” Rey mutters more to herself than Kylo. A maelstrom of emotions and confusion swirl within her.

Kylo clenches his fists to keep from touching her, from pulling her close to him. “I have been nothing but honest about my intentions. Can you say the same of the Resistance? They have no plan other than a republic that is weak and fails.”

“At least they don't steal children and brainwash them. At least they don't murder whole systems that oppose them.”

Rey senses the flare of anger at her counterpoints. “That is why we must get rid of Snoke. I've tried convincing leadership that clones are more loyal. I didn't approve of the destruction of those planets… that was unnecessary.”

Rey couldn't control her temper. The Force tremors around her.

“So what now?” If she was going down this path she would scorch the ground beneath her feet. She would devote herself to killing Snoke. If she was lost she might as well take everything down with her.

“Now, we root out the Resistance and do what we can to get in front of Snoke.”

“Yes, master.”


	18. Chapter 18

It was a week before they were sent on a mission. Rey spent her time training. No longer was she trying to pretend there was no Dark side. She honed her anger and hatred to fine edges that she cut herself upon.

When Kylo entered the room in his complete uniform, wearing his mask, she knew it was time. She could feel him burning with energy, clearly eager to kill her friends. She would have to prove herself to the First Order as an asset. That Kylo being the one to train her was the best choice. The only choice.

“Get dressed. We're leaving.” His voice is harsh through the modulator. She understands she has no choice in this and his demands have made that very clear. It is almost better this way. Easier.

Maybe the day would come when her anger and hatred would shut down her compassion and make killing easy. She hoped she wouldn't change. She would never enjoy it like Kylo, she was sure of it.

Kylo pretends to not listen to her many times but sometimes he can't help reacting to a thought. He takes off his mask glaring at her.

“You do enjoy it. Don't deny it.” Her voice doesn't betray her anxiety as she steps closer to him. Even knowing his wickedness and lack of remorse she is like a moth to a flame.

“I don't. You do.” His voice held the hint of a laugh.

It felt like she was engulfed in a frozen fire and she felt herself move her hand to slap him.

He caught it, turning to bite her hand viciously. She tried to snatch her hand back as he pulled her up against him. His other arm snaked around her holding her close as her released her right wrist.

*My poor Rey. So innocent, so in denial. I knew you as a child and as entrenched as you are in the Light at your foundation you are Dark. Even as a child, in your innocence you were more interested in results than the right means.*

She tries to push away him as he leans down to kiss her. She could burn alive with anger even as she kisses him back. He pulls back, looking at her with large eyes that want to devour her. He is smug as his thumb caresses her lower lip.

“You think you don't like killing but you like surviving. You like winning. I have seen your memories. I know the thrill of victory. I know what it is to stand over the body of my enemy and only feel joy.” His voice is low and convincing. He wasn't wrong and that was the worst of it.

*Dressed. Now.*

She extricates herself from his hold even as he holds onto her. So many times he teased her this way but he always stops. She wished sometimes he wouldn't stop.

“You know you can't tell me to hurry and not let me go.” she grumbles.

“Obviously I can. Get your helmet we need to hurry if we want to get there before the attack starts.”

“Where?” She asked as she pulled on her clothes and tugged on her boots.

“D’Qar.”

She snaps her head back to him. Her eyes searching his. He had implied he wouldn't betray them with her information but he didn't say he wouldn't.

“Hux found it without my help. The Resistance is sloppy and ill trained. Your 'friend' gave them plenty of information. The generals have been planning this offensive for a month.”

She wants to believe him. As far as she knew, he has never lied to her.

*Let's go.* Rey says through the bond as she fixes her helmet in place. Kylo puts her cloak on as she waits for him to open the door.

****

The offensive was well underway when they exit Kylo's ship. Immediately, Kylo begins deflecting blaster shots with his lightsaber. Rey ignites the yellow lightsaber that Kylo had given her. Another souvenir from the Jedi temple she guessed.

They blocked the blasts easily. Rey could feel the Force and sense its movement. She could feel the attacks coming towards her. It was almost without thought she deflected them.

They were heading toward a bunker that was on the perimeter of the base. Although she had not officially been part of the Resistance, she had come out here with Finn when he was on guard duty.

She hopes that he is far away right now.

She feels Kylo's rage flare at the thought of Finn. He is determined to kill him. She was afraid she couldn't or wouldn't stop Kylo. His thoughts and emotions bleed into hers and sometimes it was hard to separate their feelings.

She couldn't stand the hatred she felt in her heart for Finn coming from Kylo. Rey missed blocking a blast as it grazed her shoulder. She hissed through her teeth at the shot trying to ignore Kylo's feelings. At least the wound was mostly cauterized.

“Focus on the pain. Make it into your own and use it.”

It wasn't hard for Rey to focus on the pain without being debilitated. How many times had she gone to bed hungry. Her stomach gnawing and painful. Her throat dry with disuse and dehydration. The bruises from being robbed. The loneliness that made her feel like a dark star with the space between her and anyone else so far away.

Except for Kylo who was nestled firmly in her mind. Her loneliness banished for as long as both of them survived.

Kylo slashes into Resistance troops as artillery began raining down on both them and the enemy. This was a last ditch effort to delay at least Kylo while the Resistance fled. Rey could hear the rumbles of “traitor” and “cowards” even as she provided cover.

One of the men came at her from the other side in her blindspot. She turned slashing into the man, removing limbs as he fell to the ground screaming.

Rey continued deflecting without missing a beat. The man kept screaming, somehow still conscious despite the pain. She tries to ignore it not wanting to kill him. She didn't recognize him but still…

*Kill him!* Kylo thundered in her mind but Rey was resistant.

*You are much crueler to make him suffer.* Kylo stated in her mind.

Rey felt her anger and rage rise. Kylo is pressing her buttons to make her overreact. The man's scream pierces the air as he uses one arm to drag himself closer to her. His eyes were full of fury and hate.

Rey swifty brings her blade down neatly severing the man's head and silencing the screams. She tells herself that he would have died anyway. But it is little comfort.

 

****

As they walk through the entrance of the base, Rey can't help but hope her friends have already fled. She was afraid in the heat of battle while she deflected and maimed she wouldn't see it was someone she knew.

She was afraid she might unknowingly murder someone who had been a friend. Was a friend.

The Stormtroopers are organized and they follow behind the formation with lightsabers on their belt. Most people have already fled or died. When they enter the hangar, she can see the Millennium Falcon. Then she senses Skywalker and someone else.

Kylo pulls out his lightsaber, igniting it with the angry flick of a wrist. Rey pulls out hers as well. Her heart in her throat.

Blasters begin shooting at the entrance to a corridor but a green lightsaber ignites followed by a blue one.

Skywalker and Finn take down many Stormtroopers before Kylo raises his hand. The firing stopped.

“Go on you'll only die here. Clear out the rest of the base.” Kylo commanded the Stormtroopers and they hesitate only for a moment before moving to a different corridor.

Rey's heart feels tight. She could choke on the torrent of conflicting emotions. Kylo would fight Skywalker and she would fight Finn. They were trying to delay them while the rest of the Resistance must be fleeing.

Kylo and Rey both block their opponents but Rey must focus on her fight as Kylo and Skywalker move further away.

Finn is attacking her violently. His blows are heavy as she is put on the defensive. Moving further back she tries to find more open space to maneuver.

“Where did Ren find another Darth Vader wannabe?” Finn's voice, normally so kind is fierce with hatred.

“You are being tempted by the Dark side.” She says the words softly as a warning. She could not watch him fall too. How could Skywalker put Finn in this situation when he wasn't a killer?

Finn doesn't take her words as cautioning. Her voice is so ominous through the mask it sounds like she is mocking him.

“No, I am nothing like you.”

Rey's heart feels like a shard of ice has been shot into it. She leaps back clutching her left hand to her heart, lightsaber at ready. If he saw her face what would he say then? Would he forgive her? Would he show her the same eyes he did when he tried to leave? When he came back for her on Starkiller?

Rey hears an explosion and the ground tremors lightly. That was close. While she is distracted, Finn leaps forward slashing at her but her body blocks him from muscle memory. All those hours of training with Kylo except this isn't a practice blade.

  
Rey stares dumbly at part of Finn's arm that she just severed before the lightsaber burned into his side. She steps back slowly from Finn and runs down the corridor away from the fight, away from Kylo and Skywalker. Away from the fact that when Finn collapsed she wasn't sure he was alive.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am a bit ahead of this. I might try just posting one or two chapters on weekends because I am in the process of moving. Also this is a tiny bit dark? Hopefully you are loving it. I am starting to see the shape of the next part. Current writing goal, let's get Snoke out of the way :D

Rey ran down the hallway until she entered the command room. She wondered if the Resistance knew they had Poe. She felt trapped in the mask but was too worried about being recognized. She desperately wishes she could puke.

She breathes heavily through the mask while leaning on the console. Finn…

He was her first real friend and she feels a sob choke out of her. She couldn't have killed him.

She feels herself spiraling until she senses Kylo. He is still fighting Skywalker. He is too focused on his battle, he doesn't know what she did.

She had to go back in there. Maybe she could make Kylo let them go…

As she walks into the room she realizes how foolish she is to hope for such mercy. Finn is passed out on the floor and both Kylo and Skywalker are sporting lightsaber burns. Neither seems to have the upper hand.

Skywalker uses the Force to push Kylo back against the wall. Kylo is pinned and Rey feels a slight satisfaction in seeing him in a position he put her in so many times. Then she sees Chewie and Leia come out. Leia runs onto the ramp not sparing a glance at her two family members. Chewie runs over to where Finn is and picks him up. He glares at her warily before running back to the ramp. Luke walks slowly toward the ramp as the ship fires up.

She watches all this without moving from the doorway. She couldn't bring herself to interfere in their escape.

As Luke runs up the ramp. He releases Kylo who slumps to the floor. Rey runs over to him and goes to grab his hand. He slaps her hand away and she can feel the rage in his glare even if she cannot see it.

The ship's landing gear begins to retract as Kylo pushes himself up to grab a blaster from a fallen Stormtrooper.

He begins shooting at the hyperdrive but they are out and gone before he does any actual damage.

Kylo turns back to her and strides purposely towards her. Grabbing her arm he pulls her close until their masks are nearly touching. She can almost see the light reflecting from his eyes through the narrow slit of his mask. She can feel the madness and rage swirling around him.

Rey knew he would punish her. She could feel it in his thoughts. And he would enjoy it even as he hated it.

“I won't go easy.” His voice is a threat and a promise.

She smiles as his words. She would expect nothing less.


	20. Chapter 20

Most of the information had been wiped from the base. He had expected that. What he hadn't anticipated was confronting his uncle. Or that traitor.

 

Kylo had expected the cowards gone as soon as they attacked. Kylo had received intelligence that the Jedi and traitor had taken the falcon to find holocrons. Skywalker thought to find out why the Jedi code had failed and the Force was unbalanced.

 

The fool had no idea. There is no Jedi holocron in the universe that could heal the balance. Only killing off all vestiges of the past like his uncle and Snoke would solve anything.

 

This report was mostly useless. The First Order had managed to decimate their forces and much of their resources. There was little left behind. Somehow it took them two weeks to 'officially’ decide there was nothing.

 

Kylo sighed audibly, which was rather loud through the voice modulator in the conference room.

 

“Is there a problem, Ren?”

 

Kylo wanted to choke Hux for strong arming him into this meeting. He had more important things to do besides ignore Hux. His mask hid his rage even if his clenched fists didn't.

 

His apprentice was waiting for him in his personal detention room. It was much like the one she had been in on Starkiller, except with Force shackles on her, she was mostly harmless. He had it made because he knew he would eventually need to use it. Even if she was shackled back against the wall the lack of movement and seeing that chair...

 

She could probably still talk a Stormtrooper into releasing her if she had any guards. She was strong with the Force.

 

No, she had been placed in there because he was certain traditional methods wouldn't work on her. Pain was something she had adapted to so he had a much more insidious method for her. To leave her alone with her owns thoughts.

 

****

Rey lay vertical with her limbs shackled to the wall and ceiling. She no longer knew how long it had been. She had woken here after returning from the mission…

 

It had been dark ever since and she couldn't feel the Force. She couldn't feel Kylo.

 

No sound, no light, and no Kylo to distract her. She would have gone mad already if she couldn't feel the shackles holding her.

 

She was sure there was a reason but she couldn't remember. Didn't want to remember.

 

She shivered against the air. The metal cold against her body burned.

 

She had to believe Finn was alive. She kept seeing his arm lying on the floor behind her eyes. Luke must have known it was her. Chewie might have known.

 

Would they tell Finn if they knew?

 

Kylo had seemed pleased with her attacking Finn. Disappointed she didn't kill him but Kylo didn't seem to expect it of her. Yet.

 

At this point she would do anything to move around. To be able to see something besides darkness. 

 

What was worse was the emptiness. She hadn't realized how much space Kylo had taken up and now… She felt hollow.

 

What if Snoke had found out and he was dead? No, she was certain he was still alive. What if…

 

The lights came on overhead and she closed her eyes against it. Her eyes burning behind her lids.

 

Then she felt him. At first gently and then his presence was like a fire burning her from within.

 

She needed him to touch her. She needed to feel his breath against her neck as he kissed her. She needed… she didn't know what she needed. But she burned with wanting it.

 

She feels his shadow cross her and she squints her eyes open.

 

Her eyes focus first on the scar dividing the side of his face. His dark eyes burning into hers.

 

Then his lips, so soft, she realizes they look impatient. His lips are pursed and expectant.

 

“Kylo…” her voice is a hoarse whisper. She had forgotten how she screamed after the first few days. 

 

She sighs as his gloved hand holds her cheek. She could feel the warmth of his hand through the glove in this cold room. She leans into him. He pulls back his hand and stares at her silently.

 

Rey panics, struggling against her bonds as he steps back out of her reach. He watches her for a moment before walking back toward the entrance.

 

She screams his name, pulling against the bonds as he slowly exits the room. He does not pause or look back.

 

And she is left alone in darkness.

 

****

When he came back the next time, it had to have been much longer than a day. A week?

 

Her nails had been chewed to the quick. She was restless and fidgety.

 

She winced when the light came on but kept her eyes open absorbing the sight. Her eyes streaming with tears. Kylo is coming toward her again. His eyes burn like hot coals. She could swear she saw a flash of something before they were dark again.

 

He splays his hand across her neck, his thumb on her cheek. Her pulse is racing. He isn't wearing a glove this time and it feels like an electrical current is moving through his hand. She can feel his breath against her face and she wants to drown in it. She wants him to kiss her.

 

He withdraws his hand.

 

She was prepared and grabs onto his leg before he gets too far.

 

He pulls his leg out of her grasp and strides to the door. This whole time she feels nothing from him and she could scream if only her voice worked.

 

***

She can't remember when he last visited. She wasn't sure what she could even do now if he came. His name was like a forbidden fruit. She wanted to taste it on her tongue but it was poisonous. Deadly to dwell on it.

 

She didn't flinch when the light came on this time. 

 

She didn't move when he held her face in his hands.

 

She had spent so much time here in the darkness. She knew why he had left her here to think now. She had to confront herself. She would survive and do anything no matter what it took.

 

With words and thoughts circling her like sharks. The tang of iron in her mouth was as bitter as her despair.

 

She wished she could be a better person but maybe somehow instead she could make a better galaxy. Maybe someone else could grow up without learning the lessons she did.

 

She would had to forgive herself for choosing to survive. It wouldn't stop her from hating herself, but maybe she could still live.

 

Kylo paused at the door, expectant.

 

She knew what he wanted now and she was tired of denying herself. Tired of being guilty for doing whatever she could and would do to survive.

 

“Master, please.” Her voice was quiet in the room but so loud in her ears. She felt the world shatter silently at her words. But she couldn't do it. Never again. She couldn't be so alone, so empty.

 

Kylo splayed his hand on the door, leaning against it. Then the shackles around her wrists and ankles unlocked.

 

She felt Kylo's presence explode in her mind like a supernova. She could feel the waves of satisfaction. He was pleased with her. 

 

She could feel the hatred well up within her. Even as she could feel joy and relief in the same breath.

 

He walks over to her as she weakly stands up. He scoops her into his arms and she gasps at the sudden contact. She feels weird. Her heart is pounding and it feels overwhelming. She needs him. Needed this, and she uses her arms to grab onto his neck.

 

Even repelled she knows he will save her. Will protect her. Teach her to protect herself.

 

Kylo looks down at her as she pulls herself up for a desperate kiss.

 

She needs him to do something, to comfort her somehow, but she feels shaky. She parts her mouth for a breath as Kylo holds her tighter. She feels fear snake through her gut as she stares into his eyes.

 

“You needed this. Your next lesson will be include hunger if it is needed.” Kylo's said with an exacting, expectant tone. 

 

She is relieved to hear his voice again. His whispered threats were sweet nothings to her as far as she is concerned. She can feel him in her mind monitoring her but she can't make herself care. The bond between them had been pulled taunt. The relief of his mere presence...

 

Kylo scoops her into his arms and she sighs at the contact. Her hands touching him. Searching for skin. She could feel him smile in her mind even if his face looked impassive.

  
Kylo opens the door with Rey in his arms and leaves the room.


	21. Twenty one

Rey was doing better now that it had been a couple weeks. At first, she had slept a few days. She still wasn't sure just how long it had been. Any holo she might want, sure. Asking her master about the Jedi and Sith, the Empire and Republic, he would talk for hours. Ask what day it was, how long she had been training with him… it got a bit messy. 

 

It was another way he played with her. Preying on her memories of marking the wall. Of waiting. He wouldn't let her mark time. As far as her master was concerned she wasn't waiting for anything, so why did it matter.

 

She wondered how long Finn had been training. If he had gotten a new arm….

 

If he knew. If he hated her.

 

Rey was use to the other scavengers on Jakku being wary of her. She had been vicious in defending herself and her property. Vindictive to slights because perceived weakness was death. Rey had been very young when she first killed someone. 

 

A woman had come up to her asking for directions while her son hit her from behind. While they were going through her things, Rey had grabbed a rock. She smashed the woman's head from behind.

 

The boy ran into the wastes. She didn't know if he had lived. She had just been glad he never bothered her again.

 

Rey was sitting in their rooms. He had added more furniture during her… training. The couch she sat on was small but comfortable. It feels weird to be in the outfit again. To feel warm. She felt scarred by the cold metal in that room. The cold leached into her bones and she needs the desert to burn it away.

 

He had told her that she would have to talk to Snoke today. He was curious about her training and how she was adapting.

 

Truthfully, she was too good at adapting. She wouldn't train like that again. Her master's training had worked… in a way. She had learned too many harsh lessons in that dark room.

 

She stares at her folded hands.

 

Rey needs Kylo. Whatever he may have once been to her, whatever her family had truly been... There is only one truth she knows. She needs him and it makes her hate herself. 

 

Kylo enters the room in full regalia. As the door closes behind him he takes off his mask.

 

“It's time.” Kylo says the words quietly. 

 

Rey stares at her hands and ignores her mask sitting on the table. 

 

“Rey, what do you want?” Kylo asked his voice clearly frustrated. He had been trying to be kind in his own way to her the last few days but she had been withdrawn.

 

Her head snapped toward his and she felt herself rising from the couch.

 

“What do  _ I  _ want?” Rey says but the Force is gathering and swirling around her. There was power in her words. How dare he...

 

Rey walks to him and grabs him by the front of his overcoat.

 

“I want to be free. I want to go home.”

 

“And where is home to you now?” Kylo asked, his tone cold and distant.

 

Rey releases him and turns away.

 

“No, answer if you can. Who is left in the galaxy that wouldn't turn against you? You think Finn would forgive you? You think Skywalker would?”

 

He steps closer and places his hands on her shoulders. His breath is against her neck as he whispers, “There is nothing you could ever do to make me turn away. You are mine.”

 

A chill goes down Rey's spine at his words. There is truth if not trust. What he doesn't say is that she has no choice. As much as she might need him, was she more than a pawn?

 

All this time he has been so obsessed and aside from the beginning he barely touched her, barely kissed her. Of course she had complained and fought. She had also been terrified of the depth of his feelings and the memories that lay underneath.

 

But now...

 

More than once she had wished for him to touch her but he didn't seem to realize. 

 

She turns to face to him. “Master, if I mean so much then why…”

 

He stares at her and his face is inscrutable. “We have much to do. We must go to Snoke.” Kylo walks toward the table, grabbing her mask and handing it to her. 

 

Rey holds it in her hands numbly. Maybe he didn't feel that way after all…

 

Kylo pushes her mask to the side, grabs the back of her head and kisses her. 

 

Rey feels like she is made of exploding stars. His kiss is like an ember and burns hotter the harder she grasps. She meets his kiss with fervour and her mask drops to the floor. He holds her to him with a desperation unlike any she had ever felt.

 

He pulls back, releasing her abruptly to stride back to the entrance.

 

“We don't have time, apprentice.” Kylo growls.

 

Rey picks up the mask and puts it on as Kylo does the same. This was going to have to be a topic they revisited.

 

****

 

The image of Snoke appears and they both kneel.

 

“Kylo Ren, I have been impatient for this.” Snoke's words chill Rey. What could he want?

 

“Rise.” The words are angry and seem to have to power behind them as they stand.

 

“Supreme leader, I-”

 

“Silence! I will see her progress. If she cannot manage this simple task you will destroy her. You have spent enough time on her. She should be of some use.”

 

Rey feels panic settling in even as Kylo tries to soothe her through the bond.

 

*Just do as he says, whatever it might be.* The words were furtive and quiet, but she assents silently.

 

She feels a strange calm settling over her as the doors open. She suddenly knows what she will be made to do.

 

“Remove your mask, girl.” The words are said coldly but it is like there is a fire beneath her skin.

 

Snoke was trying to use friendship against her. He is trying to break her.

 

Rey is already broken. This might hurt but she would survive. She wouldn't let her heart stop her from her goals. She would kill Snoke. Only then could they make peace.

 

Poe Dameron is slammed into his knees in front of her. She would have thought him dead by now. Somehow he was still alive and sane enough to recognize her.

 

“Re..ey…” Poe’s voice cracks and croaks. He is covered in blood, bruises, and cuts. One eye is so swollen she can't see it. He seems feverish.

 

She can feel his emotions. His confusion at her being here. The realization, and the hatred that oozes out of his mind for her. He feels betrayed.

 

She clenches her fists at her sides trying not to hate him but it comes too easily. The hurt, the anger, and the pain pierces her heart. Poe had lied to her and let her remain ignorant. 

 

“Kill him.” She heard the words distantly as she circled Poe. She took her borrowed lightsaber out, the yellow beam igniting.

 

She let her saber fall. Poe's head neatly falling from his shoulders. She didn't hesitate because anything less than absolute obedience would mean death.

 

She thought she would be sick but instead she just felt a cold, cold fire burning in her heart. She felt elation and pride through the bond. It made her happy even if everything around her was burning. She tried to ignore the Stormtroopers taking his body away.

 

“Inform Hux that you are to come to me with your apprentice. He is to continue hunting down the Resistance. I am on Korriban. You will sense me when you arrive.” The holo image vanished.


	22. Chapter 22

Rey picked up her helmet and put it on. Even though she knew Kylo could feel everything, somehow hiding her face made her feel better.

Kylo's joy radiated through the bond. He took her hand and pulled her out of the room.

The Stormtroopers had left and even if they hadn't, she knew Kylo was able to hide or manipulate people into not seeing them. She tried to keep up but his long legs out paced her until she stopped pulling on his hand.

*Aren't you worried? Where are you dragging me?* Rey asked tentatively.

He turned his head just slightly. She could almost feel his glare at her question. Rey had tried to not be curious but she could only last so long.

*No. I have been stronger than the Supreme Leader for some time.* His voice was calm and matter of fact.

Then it was as though all of the energy, the Force exploded out of him. It felt like an aura of lightning and ice. Overpowering and so, so cold. Then just as quickly the power imploded into how he normally felt. Dark but the Force only seemed slightly stronger than her own.

“You will learn my apprentice, when it is necessary.” His voice is brusque and turns to leave. He drops her hand. She would follow, they both knew it, even if he never would answer all her questions.

Sometimes it is better to be patient.

****

They strode into Hux’s quarters like it hadn't even been locked. Hux jumped up out of bed startled at the intrusion. It must be later than Rey had thought.

Kylo Force choked him before he could open his mouth. His feet were few inches off the ground.

“Supreme Leader Snoke has requested our presence and for you to continue the hunt for the Resistance scum. You are to attempt to find Skywalker and his apprentice but not to act on them.” Kylo paused seeming to rather enjoy the sight of Hux at his mercy. Hux, with a red face and bulging eyes strangely did not.

Hux dropped to the floor like a bag of sand. Limp and sputtering out coughs. Kylo turned to leave but paused, halting Rey.

“We will take my personal ship without any assistance. I expect results when I return.” Kylo seemed to glide out of the room as Rey followed him. As they went down the hallway, Rey heard a loud crash from the quarters they had just left. She felt the hint of a smile at returning the favor to Hux.

 

****

 

The flight only took an hour before they exited hyperspace. The closer they got to the planet's surface, the more obvious it become that this was a wasteland.

For some reason, Kylo in the cockpit looked odd. Of course he would know how to fly… She had just never considered it.

She could see vast buildings, temples even, as they got closer. She also saw the wreckage and barren land left behind by ancient war, craters and sparse plant life.

When they landed, Kylo set the ship into shutdown mode and it began its cooling cycle. Rey knelt down and picked up her mask before putting it on. Kylo was without his mask and casting her a side glance.

*Communication is only through the bond. Follow my lead and whatever you do, don't get separated.*

*But Kylo what is…* Rey started.

*NO. You must think of me as your master. Do not think my name. Any appearance of impropriety between us will get us killed. The knights are out but do not underestimate Snoke. Even if I am stronger, he is much older and wiser. We must tread carefully.*

Rey realized even with his strength he needs her and she can't help the flush of pride. *Yes, master.*

Her master stands and puts on his mask before taking off to disembark. She walks behind him unconcerned at their destination because this was it.

They had landed close to the temple and upon entering her master turned to the nearest stormtrooper to bark orders. Several ran off, presumably to do what he said, as two Stormtroopers began walking further in.

They followed them. Their footsteps echoed off the stone.

“This is a Sith temple. Stretch out your senses and feel the Force on this planet.”

Rey mentally opened herself up only to stagger. The Force here was… wrong. It felt dark and pervasive. Like the long nights with no moon on Jakku. The emptiness swallowing her but instead tempering her with hatred and fear.

*Rey, let it in. I know it is hard but if you let go the power you will have will be immense.*

Rey struggles against the forces pulling against her. The Dark side was calling to the part of her that wanted to live, to survive. She felt anger and fear swell her heart like rot. And it hurt.

Rey gasped as her master steadied her.

They were before a large doorway and she realized this must be where Snoke has been hiding. She could feel the Force signature of something much darker than her master had ever dreamed of becoming. More sinister.

He used the Dark side as a tool. Whatever lay inside seems to breathe and exude it.

When the doors open she follows confidently behind her master. She would survive this. She would not fail.


	23. 23

Rey saw a figure deep in the darkness at the back of the massive chamber. She felt cold inside as though ice ran through her veins. When her master stopped a small distance from the dais, she froze and bent her knee.

 

Because of this creature she had to betray a friend. To murder a friend. She had killed something she thought long lost.

 

Innocence.

 

She was more than a pawn or some passing fancy to her master. He needed her power as much as just her for herself. She had changed and she wasn't sure it was for the best.

 

Now she needed to know if she would survive this.

 

Her master kneeled before the Supreme Leader. And she realized then that the ice in her veins was fear.

 

“Rise, Kylo Ren. Show me the scavenger.” Snoke's voice was more grave that in the hologram and she felt her throat constrict as she came closer to her master.

 

Snoke peered down into her eyes and she refortified her defenses. Then she felt the tendril of his power try to sneak through her walls. 

 

Then it hit resistance.

 

Snoke chuckled almost as he stood up and came down from the chair. He was smaller than the holograms but somehow that was more terrifying.

 

He was still a far distance but then he reached his hand out.

 

Rey slammed into the ground. The pain was crippling and she could barely think as she felt Snoke pounding against her mind.

 

It seemed to last an eternity until he slowed. She could still feel his tendrils as she clung to the ground. 

 

“Kylo Ren, her training in defense is fairly decent. I suspect she had to learn to keep you out?” Snoke drawled.

 

Kylo nodded without a word. She couldn't sense his feelings or thoughts.

 

Snoke turned back toward Kylo. And his face broke out in facsimile of a smile.

 

“And if what if I hurt you?” then Kylo's legs buckled under him and Rey heard herself gasp as she struggled to move.

 

Then she felt Snoke pierce her defenses and pain flooded her more intense than before. She heard the screaming before realizing it was her.

 

Rey grit her teeth and threw Snoke out of her head. She could feel his shock but did not follow it back to its source. Too dangerous. She had learned her lesson on that.

 

Snoke releases Kylo while she still writhes on the floor in agony. Snoke may not have fully penetrated her mind but Force she hurt.

 

Kylo stood up but Snoke had moved closer to Rey while torturing her. Kylo pulled out his lightsaber slowly and stepped toward Snoke.

 

Snoke released Rey and throws Kylo back against the back wall. Rey looks at Kylo as he struggles for a breath.

 

“Fool! You thought I didn't sense you intentions? This girl has far more potential than  _ you. _ ” Snoke rasped as he moved closer to Kylo.

 

Rey stood up shaking. She could feel the Force moving through her. The violence and anger. The hatred and fear moved her. She could hear the voices of ancient Sith lords chanting in her head. They did not like this imposter who stole energy from their ancient home.

 

Rey shoved the Force at Snoke and he fell to the floor. She could hear the loud snap of a bone but she saw Kylo slump to the floor gasping for air. Kylo was  _ hers _ only she would kill him. 

 

She bared her teeth at Snoke's fallen form and she came closer. She ignites her lightsaber and arcs it over his head-

 

She is pushed back by the explosion of the Force from Kylo. She stands her ground and he throws her back as he growls at her, “HE’S MINE!”

 

Kylo stalks over to the Supreme Leader as he lifts a hand to hold him down.

 

Snoke reaches out a hand and Kylo steps on it with his boot. The brittle bones breaking loudly with an echo in the large room.

 

“You tortured and manipulated me. Forced me to kill family to prove loyalty. All this time you took me only as the best available option. I have sacrificed  _ everything _ for the First Order, for my grandfather's vision of the galaxy. Yet, you never trusted me and always doubted my commitment to the Dark side.”

 

Kylo paused, looking at the broken man before him. Kylo had contained his powers and now was almost harmless. A snake can still bite even when dead.

 

Kylo took his red lightsaber, about to cut his former master in half. His voice was soft and full of hate. 

 

“I will wipe every trace of you from the galaxy and the troops will fall in line behind  **me** .” 

  
Then the blade feel and Snoke’s head rolled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Going to probably finish this up before too long. I hope you guys have been enjoying! Don't worry I will make a lemon chapter by the end.


	24. 24

Kylo sighed but kept his lightsaber out. Rey took her mask off and walked toward him. He pointed the lightsaber toward her as she got closer and she stopped short of it.

 

What now? They had killed Snoke but she couldn't go back to the Resistance. She was too different, changed. Would he kill her? What would he want with her?

 

Why had he even wanted her here in the first place if Snoke had been so physically weak? He hadn't really needed her. Had it all been a ploy to make her turn? To change her opinion of him? She couldn't say and not knowing was more frightening than Snoke. 

 

Kylo sighs and turns off the lightsaber before clipping it to his belt. He takes his mask off and throws it aside.

 

He looks weary of it all. 

 

“I needed you so he could put all his attention on you, or most of it. I knew that physically he couldn't defeat both of us if we got the jump on him. I knew that if he was going to be torturing you he would have no guards. I knew we could do it.” Kylo said this all with intensity. Like his life depended on her understanding.

 

“He wanted you. Your lineage. Mine is flawed since the Skywalker line has a tendency to change sides or murder people.”

 

“You're good at both but I don't think that has anything to do with your family.” Rey clutched her lightsaber tighter in her hand. 

 

“What do I have to do to make you understand?” his voice is full of exasperation.

 

“At what point has any of this made any logical sense? You kidnap me and turn me to the Dark side. You torture me-”

 

“If you thought that was torture, you're mistaken. I was as kind as I could be.” 

 

Rey turns off her lightsaber and throws it aside. She knows she must be the image of madness. She can almost feel her anger seething out of her.

 

“And what about my family! You still haven't told me nearly enough.”

 

“You want the truth? I can give you that but you won't appreciate it.” His voice sounded almost cruel but she wouldn't run from the only thing she has ever wanted.

 

“Before the second Death Star was destroyed, she ran away and met a man. She died on the run from Skywalker and you are all that was left. The new Republic wanted you slain but Skywalker thought you could be useful.” Kylo turns away from her pausing to look at the corpse of Snoke.

 

It is all she can do not to grab him and shake the answers out of him.

 

“Skywalker, he hid you on Jakku from me. Got rid of the memories you had. After you accidentally killed that boy, he didn't think the Dark could defeat the Light. That you were causing me harm… He didn't know about Snoke.” Kylo says the words quietly almost to himself.

 

“What about my father?” Rey can hear the hope in her voice. Futile as it is, maybe there was someone else…

 

“He was killed a few years before when the General caught up to him. My understanding is that they were trying to get to the unknown regions to protect you.”

 

Rey pauses thinking. She wants so much more than he can tell her. She needs it like water in the desert. It will never be enough.

 

“Do you know what her name was?” 

 

“Raeya, that much I was able to glean from imperial records.”

 

“Raeya.” the name feels weird on her tongue.

 

“The question is what will you do now, Rey.” he looks at her with almost sad eyes. Expecting rejection.

 

“Skywalker killed her? Why?” Rey knows she is ignoring the more important question but she needs to know.

 

“She was considered dangerous. There was a great deal of upheaval during that time. They didn't want someone to name her empress.” Kylo is moving back closer to her.

 

“And what do you want from me?” the tremor is noticeable in her voice. He is standing over her now with his hand stroking her arm.

 

“Rule with me. Together we can make the galaxy better. Without Skywalker and the General, we can reinstate law and order. We can finish what our grandfathers started. We can bring peace to the galaxy.” There is conviction in his voice. And desperation.

 

“How would that work?” Skepticism heavy in her voice.

 

“Marry me.”

 

Rey pushes back from him and he lets her go. 

 

She doesn't understand. He had been planning this the whole time. Getting her into a position where she couldn't make a different choice. Because where could she go? She wouldn't be alone again.

 

“I don't love you!” She screams it and feels the tears spill from her eyes. The pain pierces her heart because it would be the start of something she always wanted, needed. A family.

 

“You do. I've seen how you look at me. How you need to feel me touch you. How you desperately wish I would go past your comfort.” his voice is entrancing all the more for the truth.

 

“No.” Rey realizes that she has backed herself into the wall.

 

“You don't understand it. But you want us to burn together with a passion so fierce it melts bones. You want us to be so much a part of each other you are never alone again.” Kylo presses his hands on the wall, trapping her under him.

 

“It isn't real…” she whispers the words. The bond is real and however much she might hate him, she trusts him in a odd way. She trusts that he loves her. It isn't enough. It can never be enough.

 

Kylo pulls her against him and kisses her. 

 

He kisses her like all this time he has been waiting to truly kiss her. It is the air she breathes and she is kissing back. His lips are as soft as she remembers and then she feels his tongue slide against her mouth. She opens to him.

 

Who needs air when you have this? His hands are all over her, touching. Holding her firmly against his body and she suddenly needs his clothes gone. She needs his skin against hers.

 

He slows the kissing and slowly pulls back to look at her.

 

She turns her head to the side but he pulls her chin back toward him. Rey knows he can see the confusion, fears, and tears. He can see everything including her shame.

 

“Rey, please give it a chance. We can make sure no one lives a life full of hunger and loneliness. That no one is separated from their family. We can make everything better.”

 

Rey looks at him. Really looks at him. His dark hair falling into his face. The dark eyes searching hers for an answer. The scar she had given him. This man needed her and without her… there was no telling what he would do. She certainly could never leave or go back to the Resistance. She wasn't sure she even wanted to anymore.

 

“I'll try but we have to be a team.” Rey knew even as she said it that the expectation was unrealistic. How could they ever agree to anything?

 

“Very well. We have to go inform the leadership. I doubt they will be pleased and I will have to murder many more to make peace.” He said it solemnly. 

 

“Might need to tell them we killed Snoke.” 

  
“And to plan a wedding.” Kylo said quietly before kissing her again.


	25. 25

The meeting with the Admirals of the First Order's fleet had been scheduled for later in the day. First however, they would have to deal with Hux.

 

They had arrived earlier and had been promptly separated. They were in the process of being beautified. Rey almost wished she could be in the same room as Kylo. Doubtless, there would be many droids destroyed. He had promised to try to not kill anyone but couldn't guarantee it.

 

She had been plucked, tweezed, and cleaned. She smelt like some kind of flowers or fruit. It was strange but she didn't dislike it. Her hair had been braided and extensions placed. She didn't recognize herself in the mirror and they hadn't even put makeup on her.

 

She told the droid to keep it minimal but her eyes still looked like a bit much. The black lines and something they had done to her eyelashes made them look like a fan.

 

They brought in her dress. It was very pretty she supposed. It was white but had a hint of shimmer or sheen to it. Almost metallic really. The sleeves were long and the whole thing just molded to her body.

 

It was awkward to move. She had never worn a dress before. At least the slit in the front made it easier to walk around but if she had to fight she would be ripping the sleeves.

 

When the droid came in carrying shoes with spikes under the heel, she wasn't sure what to think.

 

“No, just no. I'm sorry I cannot wear that. I need to be able to fight. In those things I doubt I could stand.” Rey could hear the grumpiness in her voice. 

 

Did many women do this often? Did her mother? No wonder she ran away.

 

She turned towards the sound of the door opening and scowled at Kylo. 

 

“You are just in a nicer version of your normal outfit and I'm in this?” She said scathingly.

 

“I don't have people to impress or terrify. My reputation precedes me. You on the other hand…” Kylo said teasingly.

 

“Right, everyone is afraid of Kylo Ren. I get it. Maybe I throw a tantrum and destroy consoles people will fear me too.” Rey said mockingly before grabbing the flat slippers from the droid that came it.

 

Kylo stepped toward her quickly. His gloved hand suddenly gently placed on her throat. So gentle and yet terrifying.

 

“Careful now. You really don't want to disappoint me.” Kylo's voice is as soft as his touch. It might as well have been a knife.

 

“What are you going to do kill me?” Rey spit out angrily.

 

Kylo stared into her eyes. Eviscerating her very soul.

 

“No, I will just kill other people instead. You know how this works.” He drawled, before dragging his hand slowly down her front. Resting it over her heart.

 

“See, barely even elevated. Today is going to be difficult enough. Try not to push my buttons. I would prefer our wedding day to be a happy memory.” Kylo leaned down to kiss her. She let him and even responded.

 

It had only been a day since Snoke was murdered. Kylo was rushing her and the leadership to accept this. She had no doubt they would on pain of death.

 

“Be a good girl and behave.”

 

Rey silently agreed but wished she didn't feel so weak.

 

*I will finish you training soon enough. You should never need to be afraid. I will keep you safe.*

 

*You just threatened me!* Rey pushes him away to stalk over to the port view. She is tired of his games and threats. 

 

“I would never kill you, Rey.” He sounded so very sincere.

 

“Can you promise you will never hurt me?” Rey held back her tears. She would be damned if she had to let the droid redo her makeup.

 

She felt his sigh like it was her own. He was a Dark sider of course he couldn't promise her that.

 

“I can promise to never hurt you maliciously. But the nature of training is often pain. You get use to it after a while.” 

 

Rey turned back to him. “And what about your father? Did you get use to that?” Rey spit it out and regretted her words almost immediately.

 

“I guess it is fair my future wife asks that.” He said it stoically.

 

And then she felt him open up to her mentally.

 

She held onto the him under the onslaught. It was a storm of words that circled him like daggers lancing him just enough to bleed. It was a black hole of emptiness that tore down everything in the universe. His pain warped the flow of time. It felt like it had just happened.

 

The fragments of words sliced and sliced. She heard an echo of every word his father had ever said to him. It built until it was a cacophony that pounded inside her head. The wounds burned but she realized it was the salt from tears.

 

Then nothing.

 

Rey had held onto Kylo. He had held her when she almost fell. 

 

“Why did you do it if you loved him?” Rey's voice cracked.

 

“He… was complicated. He left me at the academy and had been terrified of my Force abilities. He was proud at the same time but he worried what it meant for me. I finally turned when I found out about my grandfather's true identity. I knew then why he was so concerned.” Kylo's voice drifts off toward the end.

 

“That doesn't answer my question.”

 

“Snoke made me believe I wouldn't struggle between the Dark and the Light. He was wrong and he died for it.”

 

“Are you ready to go?” He asks, changing the subject.

 

“Ready as I can be.” She said as Kylo held his arm out sideways towards her.

 

“Take my arm. This is a different kind of battle. One I learned from my mother.”

  
Rey took his arm and tried not to worry about how this was going to go.


	26. 26

They stood outside the conference room. Rey had never felt so anxious. Hux was a pillar of the First Order, at least that was her understanding. He was the one that had started the Starkiller project and the stormtrooper 'recruitment’ methods.

 

To Rey, this meant he had a lot to answer for and would probably hate any changes. He was meticulous and stubborn. She had a sneaking suspicion this wasn't going to go well.

 

“Before we go in, do you think you could try to not kill him?” Rey asked even though she knew the answer.

 

Kylo glanced at her sideways. “I will try, purely because you will find it distasteful. I think once you actually talk to him though I will have to stop you.”

 

“Ha ha very funny. I may use the Dark side but I don't kill people because they annoy me.” Rey chided.

 

“True, I think you might end up making an exception in his case. Captain Phasma would make a great replacement and she is loyal to me.” He needled.

 

“Can we just get this over with?” Rey asked.

 

Kylo punched the code into the pad. *It is fine if you kill him. I won't be upset.*

 

Rey removed her arm from his as the door opened.

 

“About time you arrived. I have been waiting to meet out new Supreme Leader and his whore properly.” Hux scathingly said with his back turn to them. 

 

He was looking out of the wall sized window into space. The planet they were orbiting was an gas giant that they were using to refuel.

 

Rey wanted to admire it but she could feel her blood boil and her head throb. She use to not get this angry. She once wouldn't have cared. Maybe she was too quick to tell Kylo no.

 

She can hear the chuckle of Kylo in her head. Rey tries to ignore his mocking. She has to focus on keeping her face apathetic. And not strangling him, again.

 

“Really Hux, if that is the best insult you can come up with you really are slipping.” Kylo smirked as he said it before sitting down at the large table.

 

“I thought you would be honored by our visit before our nuptials.” Kylo quipped as she sat down beside him.

 

Hux turned around and gave him a severe look of pure hatred. Then he settled his gaze on her.

 

“She doesn't clean up half bad. Sad to think you betrayed your predecessor for a piece of ass.” Hux blandly stated before he started choking.

 

Rey couldn't stand him. She wanted to be forgiving. She wanted to be kind but this man-

 

*That's enough, Rey.* Kylo said in her head.

 

Rey releases her hold on him. It was more than a little frustrating that Kylo had been right. She wanted him dead. If she was going to go through with this having such a high level official talking that way wasn't tenable. 

 

She also didn't like that Kylo understood her well enough now to know her convictions were weak.

 

“I think you'll find an amicable relationship will be more beneficial. We are the leaders now. And you might as well call me Emperor and her Empress. We will be returning to the old regime given my future wife's lineage.” Kylo calmly stated.

 

“Excuse me? Lineage?” Hux pauses to chuckle darkly. “A scavenger from a junkyard of a planet. Don't play with me. She is some obsession that you have trounced up. She has the same ability as you and that makes her special?”

 

Kylo slammed his fist on the table. “Enough back talk. Either you can be cooperative or you can die. Her grandfather was the Emperor of the old Empire. If you think you can just act a fool and antagonize me, well you're right.”

 

Kylo started choking Hux and with much more force than she had. Maybe she was more like him than she ever wanted to admit. She wanted Hux dead.

 

*A wedding gift?* Kylo asked her mildly.

 

*Will this cause us problems?*

 

*No. Most of the admirals think this whole meeting was to kill him. He isn't expected to be alive. Our animosity is well known. He will never work for me and is a liability.* Kylo replied smoothly.

 

*Then why pretend? Before you said-*

 

*I said I would try. I didn't specify how hard I would try.*

 

Kylo drops him on the table. Hux's nose smashing into the hard surface with an audible crunch.

 

“Any last words?” Kylo asked with a smirk. Rey could feel how much satisfaction he got from finally killing him. He had tormented Kylo under his watch. Had done nothing but oppose him.

 

Hux is still coughing and gasping for breath when Kylo says, “I thought not.”

 

Kylo begins Force choking him again. Rey hears the crunch of his trachea. His eyes are bulging and he is drawing blood clawing at his own neck.

 

*Finish this. This is just grotesque.* Rey whispers to him. At least one good thing about the situation. She would never have to fight him for keeps ever again.

 

Kylo broke Hux's neck and dropped him on the table.

 

“Let's go. I'll let the next guard we see know to clean up this mess.” Kylo said with disdain before getting up. 

  
Rey wondered how long it would take before she didn't even pretend to try. Would she be able to recognize herself?


	27. 27

They were married. 

 

It was a fact that left her ears ringing. She could hear her heartbeat pounding.

 

Was it fear or anticipation? Probably both.

 

Rey knew what came next. She understood enough about sex to know that was expected of marriage. She had never been with a man. Older women on Jakku had told her sometimes it can hurt. The first time that is.

 

She is standing at this reception and her anxiety is growing. She is doing her best to shield from Kylo but she suspects that he knows. He keeps touching her, caressing her in an attempt to soothe her.

 

It wasn't helping.

 

When someone brought around a tray full of glasses, Kylo snagged two. Handing her one he suggested she drink it. But everything was unclear and she couldn't focus on the words.

 

Rey downed the drink and set it on a nearby table. She didn't know what was wrong but she felt full of nerves. No that wasn't true she knew exactly what was wrong. Kylo. 

 

*Maybe don't chug this one? It is a wedding brew and probably a bit stronger than what you are use to.* Kylo warned before handing her another.

 

She took a small sip and looked at him. She really hadn't had much choice but it could be worse. She took a larger drink from the glass. It actually tasted good. Sweet and almost bubbly.

 

It didn't take long for her to feel a buzz. She hadn't eaten all day and had never had any of the brew the Resistance made. It smelled too strongly and burned her nose.

 

Rey felt lighter. Almost happy for moment. She only had eyes for Kylo in the room and the meeting had been more of an introduction. And a warning to any who thought Hux had the right idea. He had promoted Captain Phasma and given her the Finalizer to run. 

 

Rey finished her drink and let go of Kylo. She wanted to talk to Phasma. She was the only other woman here. Somehow that meant that they should talk.

 

She walked over to Phasma who is actually in a revealing blue dress. She was over by the corner. Clearly she was not interested in talking to the other admirals. 

 

“Phasma?” Rey said. 

 

“Empress Rey.” Phasma replied, standing with a small bow.

 

Rey suddenly realized that she really didn't know her or anyone other than Kylo. She grabbed another drink just to hold onto. This really couldn't be any more awkward.

 

“I realized we have never really talked but we are the only women here. I just…” Rey didn't know what she wanted to ask. She wanted someone besides Kylo to talk to.

 

“Yes, empress. Can I be of any assistance?” She asked.

 

She hesitates for a moment. She could ask her…

 

“I don't know what to do. Before long I will go back to our quarters and-”

 

“Wedding night jitters? You've already said your vows and I'm sure Kylo will be eager to make heirs.” She said casually.

 

“What!” Rey almost screeched. She hadn't considered the outcome of any… intimacy. She wasn't ready for a child. Especially with Kylo… her husband. She just hadn't given it any serious thought. This was all so much.

 

“I'm sorry empress. I didn't mean to distress you.” Phasma clearly regretted the teasing.

 

“It has just been so fast and I've never-” Rey hesitates. Should she really be telling this to an almost stranger?

 

Phasma grabs her arm and sits her down. “You know the mechanics?”

 

“Yes, I just never thought I would. I mean I didn't have much choice on Jakku. Then I was going to be a Jedi…” Rey realized she could have after that with someone in the Resistance. No one had interested her. She was too focused on doing work until she dropped to muffle her feelings. 

 

“Tell him to go slow. You just have to remember to relax. The first time probably won't hurt much for you since you were very active on Jakku. Kylo is gentle with you and has experience so you will be fine.” Phasma said gently.

 

Rey downed her drink and motioned for another to be brought. She didn't want to think about his experience or how Phasma knew. 

 

“If I need to relax. I am going to need more of these.” Rey grabbed two and began drinking.

 

Phasma took the other one from her. “Empress, a few of these can lay a man on his ass. You'll be fine. He obviously loves you. Worst case you can just lay there.”

 

Rey nods and finished the one she had. Phasma had no idea. It was almost worse if he did love her. Would he expect her to say that? 

 

Vows are one thing but love… Could she ever forgive him enough or trust him enough to love him? It was too conflicting to think about. 

 

Then she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up and sees Kylo standing over her. She smiles up at him full beam. The alcohol is helping so much.

 

“I see you are getting my wife a bit drunk.” Phasma stood up at attention.

 

“Emperor.” 

 

“This is a wedding party no need for formality.” He said calmly. Phasma relaxed visibly but remained standing.

 

“Hey, don't come interrupt secret conversations.” Rey slurred a little. Maybe shouldn't have drank so fast but her skin felt like it was hot and tingling under Kylo's hand. She wanted him to take her hair down and-

 

“I think it is time we left the party. Give my thanks to the admirals. We can discuss going forward from here tomorrow.” Kylo said gruffly. 

 

“Yes, emperor.” Phasma said with a salute.

 

Rey started to stand but slipped a little. Slippers were slippery. She began giggling.

 

Kylo scooped her up into his arms. Like he had such a long time ago.

  
Then they exited towards their quarters.


	28. 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First time I wrote a sex scene *terror*. I might leave it here for now I like this as an ending place. Thanks for reading!

They entered their quarters and Rey could feel herself shaking. She had never felt so much anxiety. At least anytime she was fighting she had a rush of adrenaline to push her through. This time it would be purely her own decision. Although she felt this was her best option and she wanted to do it…

 

What if she did something wrong?

What if  _ he _ did something wrong?

 

What if after everything they went through to get to the point where she wanted to… what if it wasn't worth it? What if it messed it all up?

 

Rey crossed her arms and waited. Kylo would take charge like he did with everything… surely.

 

There was too much build up and too much depending on them working. What if it didn't? Their marriage was supposed to be the foundation of the new Empire. She didn't know what would happen and that frightened her.

 

Kylo grazed his hand on the bed cover. Then he turned and looked at her.

 

There was a fire in his eyes that blazed stronger than any star, for her.

 

He walked up to her and gently slide his hand through her hair. It calmed her just the tiniest bit, but not enough.

 

“You understand marriage and what is required?” His tone was nonchalant but she could feel his need. It burned her like it was her own.

 

“I just…” Rey pauses. She doesn't know what her problem was because all she had dreamed and all the times he crossed the line… She enjoyed every moment. Relished it even, but she was afraid of what came next.

 

“You're trembling.” Kylo stated before pausing. “I won't force you. I never would but I had thought-”

 

“I want this. For whatever reason, I do want you. I just…” Rey couldn't say it she was afraid of his reaction.

 

“I know why you are afraid. You are afraid that it will hurt or go badly. I have spent my time in a brothel. I won't ask anything of you that I don't think you can handle. I love you and have since I first met you. I understand if it is difficult for you to feel as strongly as I do.” Kylo said gently.

 

Rey looked at him and she could feel the unshed tears. She wanted to comfort him. Wanted to tell him what he most wanted to hear. But she couldn't and somehow Kylo understanding that made it easier.

 

“Just… go slow. I haven't done this before” Rey said softly.

 

She could feel the flow of pride swell within Kylo. He would be more than happy to take her virginity and never have another man touch her. 

 

He took off his gloves and put his hand on her face. His hand was warm and gentle.

 

“Never fear me. Fear for others who would harm us. I love you and always will. Even if you put a lightsaber through my heart, I would die happy because it was you.”

 

He leaned down and kissed her gently. Rey kisses back and it is soft. She could kiss like this for days. The buzz from the drink may her feel like her whole body was kissing him. And he wrapped her in his arms. Her chest against him was bliss. She felt warm and safe.

 

Kylo pulled back from the kiss. He looked at her like she was the last drop of water of Jakku. He needed her with a desperation unlike any.

 

“Get undressed and lay back on the bed.” Kylo growled.

 

Rey went to the side of the bed and started pulling off the dress and jewelry. She quickly slipped under the covers before Kylo ordered the lights to dim.

 

He had undressed too and she felt the need to avert her eyes. Instead she found herself gaping.

 

The scars on his body were like a mismatched map. Lines and stars of scar tissue marked him everywhere. The line of his abs to his groin drew her eye to the nest of dark curls concealing the base of his large erection. Rey wasn't sure how that was supposed to fit inside her. If it could.

 

Her knees were crooked as she leaned up to look at him. He was beautiful like a fire burning out of control. A fire she hoped would not burn her.

 

He slide into the bed with almost a feline grace. He slid his hands up her legs before grabbing her left ankle and kissing it.

 

*Relax. I've dreamed of this day and I will make it a memory you will never forget.* She could feel his love and the only compassion he had in him, for her.

 

Kylo kissed slowly up her legs and it felt like electrical shocks traveling through her body. He moved closer, up her thighs, kissing inside them above her knee. She was tense but leaned back into the pillows with a sigh. 

 

She would trust him as best she could.

 

Then she gasped as she felt his hand slide up the apex of her thighs to her left breast. His kissed the junction of her thigh and groin before moving to her right breast.

 

He sucked it into his mouth, the warmth of his mouth shocking against the cold of the room. His right hand slid behind her back while the left flicked her left nipple. 

 

Rey squirmed but he held her in place. He sucked hard and as he dragged his teeth across her nipple she moaned.

 

The feel of their flesh against each other was like liquid warmth. She wanted to drown in the sensations. She had never been touched this much.

 

His eyes locked with hers and she threw her head back moaning. She felt her nails scrape against his scalp as he moaned with her nipple in his mouth.

 

Rey felt herself moving against him instinctively. Wanting more, needing more as he released her nipple from his mouth.

 

Then he smiled wickedly before kissing lower. The softness of his kiss against her stomach made her tighten down low.

 

When he finally got to her mass of curls she was ready to scream with need.

 

Then she felt his tongue on her and she bucked into his mouth.

 

Kylo held her hips in a bruising grip as he sucked and pulled on the nub. Her hands clenched the sheets and she could feel his eyes watching her.

 

His tongue licked and flicked. If she wasn't clenching her teeth so hard she would be screaming.

 

She felt hot and she was on the edge of a cliff that she couldn't see the bottom of except she wanted to jump. She felt frenzied, bucking into his lips and tongue like she was possessed. 

 

She needed more and needed it now.

 

Then in her opening, she felt him slide two fingers inside but barely. Even that much felt overwhelming. It was tight but she welcomed the intrusion as he pushed in further. Her muscles were clenched as he curled them inside.

 

She pressed her spine straight back into the bed. Her legs draped over each side of his head stiffened as she felt herself coming close to that edge. He could tell she was close and move his fingers swiftly.

 

She saw stars. Like a wave of warm water had crested over her and made every part of her body explode with sensation as she felt a flush of dampness flood her.

 

Rey went limp and Kylo pulled up looking at her, eyes glowing with emotion. He pulled himself up against her and kissed her at length. She could taste herself on his lips, salty and fresh. She flushed at the intimacy but put her arms around him to hold him close. His skin touching hers was everything she ever wanted.

 

He pulled back with a sly grin on his face. He put his fist in her hair and pulled as she gasped.

 

*I will go as slow as I can.* Even in her mind his voice sounded thick with want as she nodded minutely in his grip.

 

He sat back on his knees and rubbed his erection against her wetness. She flinched like she had been struck with a lightning bolt as she gripped the sheets tighter. Then he pushed in.

 

She gasped at the heat and the silken penetration.

 

He was only just barely in but he felt too big. She stretched around his girth, the hot flesh searing her mind. She wanted more as he rubbed his thumb against her making her rock her hips toward him. 

 

He pushed himself in further and she felt like she was being split in half and he couldn't even be near halfway in. She took short breaths as he rubbed her and caressed his other hand along her side. She could see the beads of sweat on him from restraining himself. She needed this.

 

He leaned down and began kissing her. The pain was there and she felt impaled. Kylo grazed his teeth on her lower lip before kissing more furiously.

 

He moved down with his kisses. Along her jaw and down the line of her ear. She could feel her nails in the flesh of his back as she trailed them up into his hair.

 

He was kissing her neck as he shoved himself quickly inside her. She held back a scream as she arched against him.

 

She felt full and the feeling of their bodies meeting was perfection. The heat of his body seared her and all she wanted to do was burn.

 

He kept kissing her while she adjusted. On her collarbone to her shoulder and back up to her ear.

 

His breath in her ear did something inexplicable to her and made her kiss him wildly on his own neck.

 

She couldn't take this. He needed to move or she would explode from want. She rocked her body against him the tiniest bit but it felt like a piece of metal held her in place.

 

Then he moved. The velvet of his skin inside her with that firm rod pressing against the deepest part of her made her insane. She bucked in rhythm against him as she clawed his back willing him closer against her. She needed more of him.

 

Then he opened his mind to her. She could feel his need, his excitement, his love as he pulled on her hair tighter to kiss her. It was a cacophony of emotions and sensations she never wanted to end. She felt truly a part of him and he with her for the first time.

 

It was only now she noticed the Force storming around them. They were in the eye of the maelstrom.

 

Then she felt that feeling inside her build again along with his. They both could feel his hardness meet her end and they both gasped from the pleasure. She never knew it could be like this.

 

Then she exploded and he followed her into it. He pumped harder and the slap of flesh was loud. He stopped and she could feel the veins of his cock pulsing inside her. She a bucked a little at the sensation as he rolled to his side with her. He was still hard inside her as he adoringly stared into her eyes.

 

She felt the same infatuation and for once wasn't afraid of what it meant or what people thought. She had made her choices and she didn't regret ending up here. Maybe someday she could love him and be able to say it. 

 

As he softened he pulled out and kissed her on her forehead.

  
*I know.*


End file.
